The use of social media such as Twitter and Facebook is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in their everyday life. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Social
media
has started to announce their
domination in Correct pronoun usage
its
this
globalization era, challenging the face-to-face interaction people
usually had in the past. Many people
believe the existence of social media
such
as Twitter and Facebook gives better advantages, while
some might argue on the downsides of it. In this
essay, I will elucidate on
why the benefits of social Change preposition
apply
media
outweighs
the drawbacks.
Change the verb form
outweigh
To begin
with, social media
has been assisting us to link with many other people
on the internet and search for real-time information
. For instance
, to find
and Change the verb form
finding
socialize
with someone new is getting easier through Wrong verb form
socialising
the
Facebook's search engine. Socializing is exactly what we need in a world Correct article usage
apply
depended
on global collaboration. Replace the word
dependent
In addition
, broadening up the circle of networks through chatroom
provided by each Fix the agreement mistake
chatrooms
platforms
will Change to a singular noun
platform
also
reduce the hassle of having to meet directly. Furthermore
, it is very evident that social media
like Twitter, often provide us a more real-time news than a newspaper can, which ease
the job of many Correct subject-verb agreement
eases
people
in this
world. In the end, as we enter the Internet of Things era, the
society Correct article usage
apply
also
pushes us to maximize the use of social media
.
On the other hand
, risks will always come along. Spreadness of hoax
has been the main issue of social Fix the agreement mistake
hoaxes
media
eclectic
use. Correct word choice
apply
For instance
, a real-time
Remove the article
real-time information
a piece of real-time information
information
spread
easily through Wrong verb form
spreads
lot
of parties, where a pinch of discrepancy from every person can lead to a vast misleading Add an article
a lot
information
in the end. Hence
, the government has countless attempts in creating
policies to tackle Change preposition
to create
this
one specific obstacle, such
as the UU ITE policy from Correct article usage
the Indonesia
Indonesia
government. Correct your spelling
Indonesian
Consequently
, we must pay a
better attention to the spread of Remove the article
apply
information
on the internet.
In conclusion, social media
is very fruitful in threading networks and collaborations. Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
hoax
Fix the agreement mistake
hoaxes
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
became
one of the biggest Change the verb form
become
issue
, there is no other innovation which Change to a plural noun
issues
bring
bigger Change the verb form
brings
benefit
than Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
.Submitted by kezia.ch.wibowo on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure, with each paragraph having a clear main idea and cohesive devices linking those ideas effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer's position, and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific examples or further explanation to strengthen the arguments. While the essay provides examples, it could benefit from more detailed illustrations to each point made.
task achievement
Address the task fully by providing a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of social media, followed by a clearly stated opinion.
task achievement
Express ideas clearly and comprehensively, ensuring that your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is unambiguous.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to substantiate the arguments. While the essay references certain benefits and drawbacks, it can be made stronger with concrete examples like specific incidents or studies.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.