The most important aim of science should be omprove people's live what you extend do you agree or disagree

It is argued that
science
stands as one of the promotable forces developing/
propilling
Correct your spelling
propelling
profiling
human well-being, and it
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a vital role in shaping our world, a perspective that I staunchly agree with.
This
essay will discuss the ways how
the
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
scientific advancement in the fields of medicine and agriculture can result in the better life of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity. First and foremost,
science
is already
eleveting
Correct your spelling
elevating
the quality of human existence by through scientific research and innovation that
lead
Wrong verb form
has led
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to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enormous
descoveries
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discoveries
in
the
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apply
show examples
various domains, especially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine.
In other words
, the breakthroughs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
science
contributed to the remarkable
improvments
Correct your spelling
improvements
improvement
in people’s life and resulted in the increasing the
longetivity
Correct your spelling
longevity
of human life preventing the spread of deadly diseases.
For instance
, the
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
of antibiotics marked an improvement in healthcare, saving
a lots
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a lot
lots
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of lives by preventing infectious/ contagious diseases
in
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around
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the globe.
Secondly
, innovative
science
can viably impact agriculture. Nowadays, as many areas are suffering from terrible droughts, the innovative approach in the irrigation systems can contribute to the enhancement of the soil quality
as well as
of
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apply
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food cultivation, positively impacting/influencing the economy.
For example
, several Middle Eastern countries have been
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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suffering from
this
situation for a long period, which is caused by their geographical condition.
However
, since scientists introduced the irrigation system, the Middle
eastern
Capitalize word
Eastern
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governments have been able to provide sufficient food for their population
as well as
export their products worldwide. In conclusion, looking at the existing examples
thay
Correct your spelling
that
cutting-edge
science
and remarkable/ outstanding technology can be beneficial for humanity in the medical and agricultural
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
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, I personally support the view that
science
is aimed
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
improve/boost/advance people’s lives .
Submitted by dilnurakari06 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs have a clear central idea and that each idea is elaborated upon sufficiently. The introduction and conclusion are present and align with the essay's content, but could be further refined to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together more smoothly and logically. Avoid repetition of phrases and ensure paragraph transitions are seamless.
Task Achievement
Task response is appropriate, addressing the prompt's requirements. However, refine your position by providing a deeper analysis and further explaining your reasoning, particularly in the introductory paragraph.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. Ensure that these examples are directly relevant to the points being made and explore their implications in more depth.

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