IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently read an article about the benefits of volunteering and community work for high school students. Many people feel that these activities should be included as part of the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea? Provide reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.

#article #community #work #school #students #people #activities #part #curriculum #idea #minutes
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Doing community service is one of the most valuable
jobs
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 that one can do in society. There are several suggestions trying to instill
this
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 sense of humanitarianism into society and one controversial policy is to make pupils get familiar with
this
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 notion in schools.
Although
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 individuals who are learning
this
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 at younger ages are more likely to do it hands-on in the community, the potential side effect on students' studies is something that could not be overlooked easily. Some social activists are in
favor
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favour
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 of a compulsory course for volunteer
jobs
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. in
this
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 mindset,
practicing
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practising
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 community service not only prepares kids for doing more important
jobs
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 in the future but
also
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 helps them acquire some imperative skills regarding social relations. The innocent world of children provides a great opportunity to form value in helping people. By forcing them to be in society and try to do volunteer work they can interact with others and
learns
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learn
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 a lot too.
On the other hand
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, the previous idea can be contradicted by some reasons. The likelihood of educational failure is always at the top of the list. Since these kinds of activities are time-consuming, pupils would not have time
for studying
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to study
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 other lessons. another drawback is related to interests. children are eager to play childish hobbies and attempting to help others at that age is not something that they are keen on. In conclusion,
while
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 some believe that
this
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 type of job is suitable for nurturing children, some more important notions related to students' needs contradict it. In my opinion, as a mandatory course, volunteering
jobs
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not defendable, yet in some grades like high school stage, students could be encouraged to do it.
Submitted by reyhaneh.darash on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Be sure to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and be linked with cohesive devices. Vary your use of these devices to ensure the essay flows well.
Task Achievement
Focus on fully developing your arguments with relevant, specific examples. Your essay touches on the benefits and drawbacks of volunteering work being part of the curriculum, but providing more concrete examples would strengthen your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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