Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
modern world, road
accidents
are increasing rapidly. Hence
chunks of people believe that the best way to improve road
safety
is age
limitFix the infinitive
to age
should extend
. Verb problem
apply
While
this
approach can be proved beneficial up to a certain extent, but
other measures are much more superior to Correct word choice
apply
this
approach.
To embark on , one of the paramount reasons is age
is not a major concern for road
accidents
because in most countries it is already 18 years. There are many experiments and reports published that a person who is eighteen years old is good enough to understand all driving aspects and its laws. If someone passes their driving license exam then
he or she is good to go because if they pass the exam they are all about rules and regulations. For instance
, in India
there is a particular department Add a comma
India,
Road
Transport Office which conducts exams and if students pass then
they distribute their driving licenses to them. Therefore
, if someone passes their test they are good to ride or drive an automobile.
Furthermore
, not only age
, bad infrastructure is one of the major reasons for road
accidents
, the government should fix them and improve road
quality. Most roads have potholes where people suffer from daily accidents
and they should also
upgrade road
safety
by applying traffic signals in maximum squares, where pathway people use the zebra crossing. For example
, according to
recent
survey by the Add an article
a recent
road
safety
department in India accidents
have decreased because nowadays, the government are building express highways and these highways they always used to maintain the quality of the road
. Hence
compared to age
, there are many other factors which should be considered.
In conclusion, I would like to assert that, age
is already suitable as per current laws. On the other hand
, the government should focus on road
safety
and upgrade traffic rules.Submitted by shubhashish.bobby on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure. It is important to present your arguments in a clear and logical manner that can be easily followed by the reader. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and the sentences within each paragraph should be well-connected to enhance coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Remember to have clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs. They serve as bookends to your argument, setting the stage and summarizing your stance respectively. Your introduction should present the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should reiterate your main points and restate your position without repeating the same sentences verbatim.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with examples and explanations. Although you provided examples, they could be further elaborated upon and made more specific to strengthen your arguments. Make sure that the examples are relevant and clearly illustrate the point you are trying to make.
Task Achievement
To fully address the task, make sure your response covers all parts of the prompt. The essay should not only address why you disagree with increasing the minimum legal age but also consider explaining more specifics on how the other measures can be implemented to improve road safety. Additionally, provide a balanced view if you partially agree or disagree.
Task Achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas comprehensively. While you introduced good points, they need to be fleshed out more completely. Ensure that each paragraph elaborates on the point being made rather than just stating it. This will demonstrate your ability to discuss ideas comprehensively.
Task Achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While you have used the example of the Indian Road Safety Department, more international examples or statistical evidence could provide a stronger justification for your points. Always aim to support your claims with substantial evidence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?