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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done?

#students #attention #school
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In modern society, many
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coeds
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 encounter the problem of rapidly losing concentration during lectures and experiencing inattention
while
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 doing exercises.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons for and present my own perspective on the given statement, with relevant examples and explanations outlined. One of the most popular explanations that affects every scholar is social media addiction. Often, teenagers can spend the whole night on their phones. When they come to school, they feel tired and think about sleep rather than the lesson. Another valid cause is the monotony of classrooms. Many education programs lack relevance to real life, presenting a repetitive series of tedious theoretical assignments and lectures that fail to motivate freshmen. To address the main difficulties, I propose introducing a ban on the use of phones in educational institutions.
This
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 approach
is
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has
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 already implemented in many countries. To avoid leaving your mobile device at home, you can submit it at the school entrance and retrieve it
at the end
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 of classes.
This
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 will help students to direct attention 100% on their studies and make significant progress in their knowledge.
Furthermore
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, the training program can be enhanced by introducing research investigations and projects.
Additionally
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, specialists can be invited to share their experiences in specific areas. In conclusion, many tutees face issues maintaining focus
due to
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 tiredness.
However
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, if conservatories adopt new rules, they will become more attentive.
Submitted by studyvvl643 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with adequately developed supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Expand upon your ideas further to fully address all parts of the task question. Develop each point with more detail and depth to provide a more comprehensive discussion.
task achievement
Include more specific and detailed examples to back up your main points, as this will help to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the question equally, including both the reasons for the issue and the solutions to it.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • distractions
  • technology
  • boredom
  • tiredness
  • engagement
  • learning disabilities
  • teaching techniques
  • classroom size
  • family issues
  • health problems
  • motivational strategies
What to do next:
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