The growth of consumerism has led to a ‘throw-away’ culture where people are more concerned with acquiring material possessions than protecting the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is often argued that the government should
strict
Add a missing verb
have strict
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
policies about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wasteful consumption that leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
. I strongly agree that
people
aren’t
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
enough about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excessive consumption and its impact to ruin the establishment. On the one hand, the growth of consumerism
contributing
Wrong verb form
contributes
show examples
to waste and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
disposal of still-functional goods.
This
will be a major obstacle for environmental consequences because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
understand how their irresponsibility will affect the
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
growth of
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
. Examine the impact of overconsumption, ensuring that will give so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
negativity to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind
such
as
th
Correct your spelling
the
exhaustion of natural resources, pollution and waste management
challenge
Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
show examples
.
For example
,
people
can decrease the usage of any instant materials, but choose the material with
bestest
Correct word choice
the best
show examples
durability. That’s why the government should adequately give
a wise information
Remove the article
wise information
a piece of wise information
show examples
regarding the
zero waste act
Correct your spelling
Zero Waste Act
show examples
and study the motivation behind their consumerism. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, ‘throw-away’ culture has been a
debateable
Correct your spelling
debatable
topic because it might present
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
change to environmental conservation.
The overconsumption
Correct article usage
Overconsumption
show examples
will propose
a worse economic drives
Correct the article-noun agreement
a worse economic drive
worse economic drives
show examples
because
people
most
Rephrase
are more
show examples
likely
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
than
producer
Fix the agreement mistake
producers
show examples
.
Moreover
,
less
Correct article usage
a less
show examples
substainable
Correct your spelling
sustainable
consumption lifestyle will lead to many big
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
in the future.
Thus
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the making of regulations and policies on reducing wasteful products should not be neglected.
To conclude
, I agree that
people
need to be educated through information and awareness in changing their habits and attitudes towards
Correct article usage
an indescretion
show examples
indescretion
Correct your spelling
indiscretion
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. I think
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
acts
Verb problem
plays
show examples
an important role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
case to
plan
Wrong verb form
planning
show examples
a
manufacture
Change the verb form
manufacturing
show examples
strategy to create products with limited life spans
Correct pronoun usage
that perpetuates
show examples
perpetuates
Correct subject-verb agreement
perpetuate
show examples
overconsumption
Correct article usage
an overconsumption
show examples
culture.
Submitted by sofinnovita on

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Introduction
Your introduction should clearly outline your stance and present a brief overview of the points you will discuss. Work on making your thesis statement more specific and directly responsive to the prompt.
Body Paragraphs
Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear main idea and use topic sentences to introduce your points. Support your claims with relevant examples and explanations.
Lexical Resource
Improve the range and accuracy of your vocabulary. Some of your word choices are uncommon or incorrect in context, which can confuse the reader.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, succinctly restate your main points and the overall opinion to reinforce your position. Avoid introducing new ideas or overly generalized statements.
Task Response
Develop your ideas fully to address the prompt more comprehensively. Include a balanced discussion if discussing two sides or explore the prompt's aspects deeper if writing a one-sided argument.
Grammar and Sentence Structure
Correct your grammatical errors and use a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability. Your current sentence structure is sometimes convoluted, making it difficult to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with one main idea each, using linking words to smoothly transition between your ideas and paragraphs.
Examples and Evidence
Make sure to give real-life examples that are specific and relevant to support your arguments. This strengthens your essay and shows your understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumerism
  • Throw-away culture
  • Material possessions
  • Overconsumption
  • Natural resources
  • Pollution
  • Waste management
  • Planned obsolescence
  • Economic growth
  • Advertising
  • Status symbols
  • Sustainable
  • Recycling
  • Circular economy
  • Conservation
  • Regulations
  • Environmental-friendly
  • Societal impact
  • Responsible consumerism
  • Sustainable consumption
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