With all the problems in the world today, spending money on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other causes. To what extent do you agree with this view?

There is an ongoing debate
toward
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about
show examples
the
beneficiense
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beneficence
of
space
exploration
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
and whether the
money
could have been spent
in
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on
show examples
more essential matters. My
prespective
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perspective
is,
although
space
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the space
show examples
industry played an integral role in
remarkeble
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remarkable
improvment
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improvement
, the huge budget dedicated to
this
issue can be
suitabely
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suitably
used in other
criterias
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criteria
.
To begin
with, there are other
exteremly
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extremely
important matters in which
the
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apply
show examples
money
can be beneficial.
First,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare organizations are facing
shortage
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a shortage
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of
laboure
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labour
and
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. With the use of
money
Add a comma
money,
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these
challengous
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challenges
can be resolved and the masses can experience
a
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apply
show examples
better health
condition
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conditions
show examples
.
Moreover
, education can become
considrably
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considerably
more achievable and sustainable with the help of the budget.
For example
, statistics illustrate that in Tehran a vast number of crowds are deprived
frome
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from
a qualified
toturing
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tutoring
torturing
system, which can be solved with budgetary allocation to it rather than spending
money
on
aircrafts
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aircraft
show examples
.
However
,
this
matter can be
acheaveble
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achievable
with a
focoused
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focused
supervision to prevent misusing any facilities.
Secondly
,
space
explorations are more
dengorouse
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dangerous
than expected.
Eventhough
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Even though
space
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
revealed too
many
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much
show examples
information for human beings, it caused huge pollution in
the
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apply
show examples
space
. If
space
industries
continiue
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continue
to
expaned
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expand
expanded
, there will be massive
colision
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collisions
between satelites and
nomerouse
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a nomerouse
show examples
amount of
debries
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debris
will fall
into
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onto
show examples
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
This
matter will lead to
vast
Add an article
the vast
a vast
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amount of
debries
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debris
in
outer
Add an article
an outer
the outer
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atmospheric layer which
threats
Verb problem
threatens
show examples
all lives on earth.
Therefore
, the expansion of
space
explorations should be limited which will
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
result in less
money
consumption. In conclusion, my point of view is, since there are more societal benefits in spending
money
on
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
healthcare and education,
also
for the
challengose
Correct your spelling
challenge
challenges
space
debries
Correct your spelling
debris
can cause, the budgetary priorities must be
re-esceduled
Correct your spelling
re-scheduled
and be less spent on
space
industries.
Submitted by imaneslampanahiep on

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To improve the task achievement component, ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay should offer a balanced view on why space exploration may or may not be a waste of money, with clear and comprehensive ideas. Provide more developed examples and explanations to support each point.
Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing ideas more logically and connecting them with appropriate linking words. Group related ideas together and use paragraphs to structure the essay clearly. Check for run-on sentences and aim to use a variety of complex sentence structures.
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be further strengthened with a clearer thesis statement and a summary of the main points without introducing new information. The conclusion should reflect back on the arguments presented and affirm the writer's position.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological advancements
  • resource acquisition
  • inspire
  • funding allocations
  • global challenges
  • poverty alleviation
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • educational reform
  • long-term investments
  • economic growth
  • sustainable development
  • societal benefits
  • budgetary priorities
  • space industry
  • fiscal responsibility
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