IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With all the problems in the world today, spending money on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other causes. To what extent do you agree with this view?

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There is an ongoing debate
toward
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about
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 the
beneficiense
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beneficence
 of
space
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 exploration
fundings
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funding
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 and whether the
money
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 could have been spent
in
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on
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 more essential matters. My
prespective
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perspective
 is,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
space
Correct article usage
the space
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 industry played an integral role in
remarkeble
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remarkable
improvment
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improvement
, the huge budget dedicated to
this
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 issue can be
suitabely
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suitably
 used in other
criterias
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criteria
.
To begin
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 with, there are other
exteremly
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extremely
 important matters in which
the
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apply
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money
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 can be beneficial.
First,
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the
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apply
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healthcare organizations are facing
shortage
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a shortage
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 of
laboure
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labour
 and
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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. With the use of
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money
Add a comma
money,
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 these
challengous
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challenges
 can be resolved and the masses can experience
a
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apply
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better health
condition
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conditions
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.
Moreover
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, education can become
considrably
Correct your spelling
considerably
 more achievable and sustainable with the help of the budget.
For example
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, statistics illustrate that in Tehran a vast number of crowds are deprived
frome
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from
 a qualified
toturing
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tutoring
torturing
 system, which can be solved with budgetary allocation to it rather than spending
money
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 on
aircrafts
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aircraft
show examples
.
However
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,
this
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 matter can be
acheaveble
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achievable
 with a
focoused
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focused
 supervision to prevent misusing any facilities.
Secondly
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,
space
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 explorations are more
dengorouse
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dangerous
 than expected.
Eventhough
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Even though
space
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fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
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 revealed too
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 information for human beings, it caused huge pollution in
the
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apply
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space
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. If
space
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 industries
continiue
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continue
 to
expaned
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expand
expanded
, there will be massive
colision
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collisions
 between satelites and
nomerouse
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a nomerouse
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 amount of
debries
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debris
 will fall
into
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onto
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earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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.
This
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 matter will lead to
vast
Add an article
the vast
a vast
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 amount of
debries
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debris
 in
outer
Add an article
an outer
the outer
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 atmospheric layer which
threats
Verb problem
threatens
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 all lives on earth.
Therefore
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, the expansion of
space
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 explorations should be limited which will
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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result in less
money
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 consumption. In conclusion, my point of view is, since there are more societal benefits in spending
money
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 on
like
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apply
show examples
healthcare and education,
also
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 for the
challengose
Correct your spelling
challenge
challenges
space
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debries
Correct your spelling
debris
 can cause, the budgetary priorities must be
re-esceduled
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re-scheduled
 and be less spent on
space
Use synonyms
 industries.

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To improve the task achievement component, ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay should offer a balanced view on why space exploration may or may not be a waste of money, with clear and comprehensive ideas. Provide more developed examples and explanations to support each point.
Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing ideas more logically and connecting them with appropriate linking words. Group related ideas together and use paragraphs to structure the essay clearly. Check for run-on sentences and aim to use a variety of complex sentence structures.
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be further strengthened with a clearer thesis statement and a summary of the main points without introducing new information. The conclusion should reflect back on the arguments presented and affirm the writer's position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological advancements
  • resource acquisition
  • inspire
  • funding allocations
  • global challenges
  • poverty alleviation
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • educational reform
  • long-term investments
  • economic growth
  • sustainable development
  • societal benefits
  • budgetary priorities
  • space industry
  • fiscal responsibility
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