Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
Our world is very different and talking about
people
is the most complex topic because every person
is unique. Furthermore
, it is quite interesting to understand how our mindset, personality
Correct word choice
and personality
was
created. Some Correct subject-verb agreement
were
people
consider that our future can be predicted by our inborn traits of character, while
other people
reckon that we can change our way of thinking and our behavior
, so let us analyze both points of view.
Personally, I cannot fully agree with these opinions Change the spelling
behaviour
due to
the impact of two factors in parallel: our genes and our lifestyle. As for inborn characteristics, I am convinced that children are tend
to be similar to their parents anyway. You cannot be a calm introvert with extra sociable parents, but it is not always in every part of their life. There are a lot of things in common, Change the verb form
tend
which
we can understand and predict in their childhood, but Correct word choice
that
this
effect still have even
a noticeable influence in the long run.
Wrong verb form
has
However
, I cannot be fully sure that our life experience plays an important role in our character. Of course, all of us know that children who grew
up in Wrong verb form
grow
jungle
cannot be Correct article usage
the jungle
a
normal socialized Correct article usage
apply
human
. Our environment is a significant factor, but Fix the agreement mistake
humans
also
there are so many cases where parents invested million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
dollars
in children’s education and upbringing and Change preposition
of dollars
finally
Add a comma
finally,
this
person
became a drugs addicted person
. That is
why we need to take into account the impact of the environment, but do
not rely on it.
Unnecessary verb
apply
To sum up
, if you want to develop people
’s mindset and their character, just do what you have to do and come what may. You will never understand what is the
best for the Correct article usage
apply
people
because every situation have
two sides and Change the verb form
has
a
one Correct article usage
apply
person
can obtain it as a lesson, while
another obtain
it as a big crashing problem. Love each other and change yourself giving up bad habitsCorrect subject-verb agreement
obtains
Submitted by shebanovsergey938 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
In order to enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, focus on presenting a clearer logical structure. Organize your ideas in a more systematic manner, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded with supporting details. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
task achievement
For a higher score in task response, thoroughly address all parts of the prompt. Make sure to develop your points fully and consider both sides of the argument if the question asks for it. Provide specific examples to illustrate your points and explain how they support your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.