Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Our world is very different and talking about
people
is the most complex topic because every
person
is unique.
Furthermore
, it is quite interesting to understand how our mindset,
personality
Correct word choice
and personality
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
created. Some
people
consider that our future can be predicted by our inborn traits of character,
while
other
people
reckon that we can change our way of thinking and our
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, so let us analyze both points of view. Personally, I cannot fully agree with these opinions
due to
the impact of two factors in parallel: our genes and our lifestyle. As for inborn characteristics, I am convinced that children
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to be similar to their parents anyway. You cannot be a calm introvert with extra sociable parents, but it is not always in every part of their life. There are a lot of things in common,
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
we can understand and predict in their childhood, but
this
effect still
have even
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
a noticeable influence in the long run.
However
, I cannot be fully sure that our life experience plays an important role in our character. Of course, all of us know that children who
grew
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
up in
jungle
Correct article usage
the jungle
show examples
cannot be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
normal socialized
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. Our environment is a significant factor, but
also
there are so many cases where parents invested
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
show examples
dollars
Change preposition
of dollars
show examples
in children’s education and upbringing and
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
this
person
became a drugs addicted
person
.
That is
why we need to take into account the impact of the environment, but
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not rely on it.
To sum up
, if you want to develop
people
’s mindset and their character, just do what you have to do and come what may. You will never understand what is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
best for the
people
because every situation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
two sides and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
person
can obtain it as a lesson,
while
another
obtain
Correct subject-verb agreement
obtains
show examples
it as a big crashing problem. Love each other and change yourself giving up bad habits
Submitted by shebanovsergey938 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
In order to enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, focus on presenting a clearer logical structure. Organize your ideas in a more systematic manner, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded with supporting details. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
task achievement
For a higher score in task response, thoroughly address all parts of the prompt. Make sure to develop your points fully and consider both sides of the argument if the question asks for it. Provide specific examples to illustrate your points and explain how they support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nature vs. nurture debate
  • genetic inheritance
  • personality traits
  • behavior patterns
  • heritability
  • twins studies
  • malleable characteristics
  • upbringing
  • environmental influences
  • critical periods
  • language acquisition
  • worldview
  • innate traits
  • personal experiences
  • psychological development
  • epigenetics
  • adaptive behaviors
  • cultural imprinting
  • temperament
  • social conditioning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: