The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
the chart provides information regarding the sum of bought
items
through Add an article
the internet
internet
in New Zealand's retail segment from 2003 to 2013. Capitalize word
Internet
overall
, two out of four items
records
a rise meanwhile others Correct subject-verb agreement
record
such
as clothes and travel encounter a decline within a 10 years’
difference.
In 2003, travel became the most elected item to spend money for New Zealand people by dominating more than one-fourth of total Change noun form
years
sales
in
36%, followed by clothes and film with Change preposition
at
each
24% and 21%. Meanwhile, books stay as the Correct determiner usage
apply
last
item to record in the data with slightly less than 20% of whole sales
.
10 years later, some items
had encountered change
in Add an article
a change
sales
from minus 8% to the highest 12%. Biggest
expense is film with 33% of total money spent, and note a significant increase to 12%. Add an article
The biggest
On the contrary
, other items
such
as books and travel experienced a drop with
Change preposition
of
each
8% and 7% compared to 10 years ago. Correct determiner usage
apply
Lastly
, books also
signified a slight change with 3
% increase with Correct article usage
a 3
final
record Correct article usage
a final
22
% Change preposition
of 22
on
total Change preposition
in
sales
.Submitted by imsarunn on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words items, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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