IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?

#people #levels #education #schools #universities #time #facts #skills
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Few people say that in all stages of academics, from the initial level to tertiary, much of the
time
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 is spent on cramming and not much
time
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 for practical
skills
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. I
am agree
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agree
show examples
 with the above statement and will elucidate my perspective in the
forth coming
Correct your spelling
forthcoming
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 paragraphs.
Initially
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, I
beleive
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believe
believed
 that it is important to know the theory
what
Change preposition
of what
show examples
 things work.
This
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 knowledge
encourage
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encourages
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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reflection,
the
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apply
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research
an
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and
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 so on. Practical
skills
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 are very important for getting
good
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a good
show examples
job
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. we should not
be depend
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depend
show examples
 on
the
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apply
show examples
cramming because by learning
facts
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 only we will not be able to perform
good
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well
show examples
 and can not gain any experience. A recent study concluded that learning practical
skills
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 is very important for the future of
the
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apply
show examples
students
by
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so
show examples
which
Correct word choice
that
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 they can get good
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 for their survival.
Furthermore
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, I would say that spending
time
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 on learning
facts
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 waste of
time
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 rather than learning practical
skills
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. Learning
facts
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do
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does
show examples
 not help in getting
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 good
job
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. We should
also
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 have to learn practical
skills
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along with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning
facts
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. I have an example of my friend who
were
Verb problem
apply
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only
belief
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believed
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on
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in
show examples
learnings
Correct your spelling
learning
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facts
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 and
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 on getting 90% marks, and now he
has
Verb problem
does
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 not a good
job
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 because he just
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
 about that work and
not
Add a missing verb
does not
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 have experience
of
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in
show examples
 that
job
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. From my personal view of point, learning practical
skills
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 would be
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 first
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over
show examples
than
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over
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning
facts
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. By learning
facts
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 we only know about the things and nothing
whereas
Linking Words
 by learning practical
skills
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 we can get
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 of that work and can
also
Linking Words
 know about each and everything of that thing which we could not know by learning
facts
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by musabsaeed1030 on

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Introduction
Ensure a clear introduction that presents the argument and avoid typos and grammatical errors. For instance, 'I am agree' should be corrected to 'I agree'.
Main Point Support
Develop paragraphs with clear main ideas and provide support for your arguments. For instance, expand on how practical skills contribute to a student's future beyond getting a job.
Logical Structure
Make sure that your essay has a logical flow. Use connectors and transition words to guide the reader through your argument effectively.
Conclusion
Include a conclusion that summarizes your argument and reflects upon what you've discussed in the essay.
Examples
Use specific examples to illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive. Avoid vague references such as 'a recent study concluded' without providing details.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rote memorization
  • practical skills
  • adaptable skills
  • critical thinking
  • balanced approach
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • workforce readiness
  • real-life challenges
  • technological advancements
  • information management
  • creativity hindrance
  • lifelong learning
  • skill development
What to do next:
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