In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Over the past few years, there has been an upward trend in the percentages of
the rent
Replace the word
rented
home
. Some Fix the agreement mistake
homes
people
believe that owning a home
is better than renting one, while
some other people
claim that it is difficult to buy a home
and prefer to get a rented home
. This
essay will further
elaborate my views for favoring
the impacts and Change the spelling
favouring
thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion.
On the one hand, it is a reasonable approach to have a low-risk investment in purchasing a home
nowadays. A great deal of individuals want to get independence, so they face challenges and decide to keep down the cost so they can buy their home
. Fix the agreement mistake
homes
Furthermore
, having an independent home
causes to decline in life expenses, moreover
brings comfort to lives. Having an independent home
has a crucial impact on life and causes one to have a comfortable mind every time. For example
, human beings are not involved in fluctuating home
costs because a considerable amount of the community has no remarkable income and cannot foresee the future, so they decide to buy their own home
.
On the other hand
, some people
cannot purchase a home
in
a great deal Change preposition
for
of
Change preposition
apply
local
especially in the suburbs, because Change the word
locally
growing
the Change preposition
of growing
home
cost in many countries. Furthermore
, many individuals lack stable employment and this
causes them to not have a substantial wage so they cannot buy independent homes. Thus
, a considerable amount of folks cannot get mortgage loans from the bank because they do not have a constant career and no ability for money management. For instance
, in many nations, there are recessions and economic crises and some people
are in poverty and have no potential to buy a home
and prefer to rent a home
even high cost.
In conclusion, considering both sides of the subject, I am inclined to believe that people
should be trying to buy their own home
because the future is not predictable, but we should not forget that, buying a home
includes high income and money management so, a substantial amount of people
have not this
situation.Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic but lacks a clear and direct response to the question prompts. The introduction should explicitly state if the situation is positive or negative, which would improve the task response score. Also, the conclusion should summarize both the reasons and your opinion more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay can be enhanced by clearer and more distinct paragraphs with topic sentences, supporting details, and conclusive statements. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument, aiding coherence.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points, include specific examples and details that are directly relevant to the topic. These can be personal, hypothetical, or based on well-known facts to enhance the argument's effectiveness.
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