In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the past few years, there has been an upward trend in the percentages of
the rent
Replace the word
rented
show examples
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. Some
people
believe that owning a
home
is better than renting one,
while
some other
people
claim that it is difficult to buy a
home
and prefer to get a rented
home
.
This
essay will
further
elaborate my views for
favoring
Change the spelling
favouring
show examples
the impacts and
thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion. On the one hand, it is a reasonable approach to have a low-risk investment in purchasing a
home
nowadays. A great deal of individuals want to get independence, so they face challenges and decide to keep down the cost so they can buy their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Furthermore
, having an independent
home
causes to decline in life expenses,
moreover
brings comfort to lives. Having an independent
home
has a crucial impact on life and causes one to have a comfortable mind every time.
For example
, human beings are not involved in fluctuating
home
costs because a considerable amount of the community has no remarkable income and cannot foresee the future, so they decide to buy their own
home
.
On the other hand
, some
people
cannot purchase a
home
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
a great deal
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local
Change the word
locally
show examples
especially in the suburbs, because
growing
Change preposition
of growing
show examples
the
home
cost in many countries.
Furthermore
, many individuals lack stable employment and
this
causes them to not have a substantial wage so they cannot buy independent homes.
Thus
, a considerable amount of folks cannot get mortgage loans from the bank because they do not have a constant career and no ability for money management.
For instance
, in many nations, there are recessions and economic crises and some
people
are in poverty and have no potential to buy a
home
and prefer to rent a
home
even high cost. In conclusion, considering both sides of the subject, I am inclined to believe that
people
should be trying to buy their own
home
because the future is not predictable, but we should not forget that, buying a
home
includes high income and money management so, a substantial amount of
people
have not
this
situation.
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay addresses the topic but lacks a clear and direct response to the question prompts. The introduction should explicitly state if the situation is positive or negative, which would improve the task response score. Also, the conclusion should summarize both the reasons and your opinion more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay can be enhanced by clearer and more distinct paragraphs with topic sentences, supporting details, and conclusive statements. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument, aiding coherence.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points, include specific examples and details that are directly relevant to the topic. These can be personal, hypothetical, or based on well-known facts to enhance the argument's effectiveness.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: