In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

Over the past few years, there has been an upward trend in the percentages of

the rent

Replace the word

rented

show examples

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

. Some

people

believe that owning a

home

is better than renting one,

while

some other

people

claim that it is difficult to buy a

home

and prefer to get a rented

home

This

essay will

further

elaborate my views for

favoring

Change the spelling

favouring

show examples

the impacts and

thus

, will lead to a logical conclusion. On the one hand, it is a reasonable approach to have a low-risk investment in purchasing a

home

nowadays. A great deal of individuals want to get independence, so they face challenges and decide to keep down the cost so they can buy their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

Furthermore

, having an independent

home

causes to decline in life expenses,

moreover

brings comfort to lives. Having an independent

home

has a crucial impact on life and causes one to have a comfortable mind every time.

For example

, human beings are not involved in fluctuating

home

costs because a considerable amount of the community has no remarkable income and cannot foresee the future, so they decide to buy their own

home

On the other hand

, some

people

cannot purchase a

home

Change preposition

for

show examples

a great deal

Change preposition

apply

show examples

local

Change the word

locally

show examples

especially in the suburbs, because

growing

Change preposition

of growing

show examples

the

home

cost in many countries.

Furthermore

, many individuals lack stable employment and

this

causes them to not have a substantial wage so they cannot buy independent homes.

Thus

, a considerable amount of folks cannot get mortgage loans from the bank because they do not have a constant career and no ability for money management.

For instance

, in many nations, there are recessions and economic crises and some

people

are in poverty and have no potential to buy a

home

and prefer to rent a

home

even high cost. In conclusion, considering both sides of the subject, I am inclined to believe that

people

should be trying to buy their own

home

because the future is not predictable, but we should not forget that, buying a

home

includes high income and money management so, a substantial amount of

people

have not

this

situation.

Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on Mon Jan 22 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic but lacks a clear and direct response to the question prompts. The introduction should explicitly state if the situation is positive or negative, which would improve the task response score. Also, the conclusion should summarize both the reasons and your opinion more explicitly.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay can be enhanced by clearer and more distinct paragraphs with topic sentences, supporting details, and conclusive statements. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument, aiding coherence.

coherence cohesion

To support your main points, include specific examples and details that are directly relevant to the topic. These can be personal, hypothetical, or based on well-known facts to enhance the argument's effectiveness.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

350 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam.’How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled . They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement . To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste ?

Along with economic development, the environment of the world is being seriously polluted. What economic activities can cause harm to the environment? What can be done to prevent this?