Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history.
Every subject has an impact on modern phenomena. Several individuals opine that
history
is an essential subject for school learners whereas
the opposite opinion is that studying modern subjects such
as science and technology is more effective. Personally, I support the second statement, and in the following paragraphs, I will discuss both views and the reasons for my bias.
On the one hand, the main benefit of studying history
is gathering knowledge about traditional cultures. History
teaches students about their ancestors' lives and deciphers many events that are still remembered today. In fact, learners can know the details of the past, and from this
skill, they can take convenient steps to protect modern societies. For instance
, politicians who have knowledge about historical events can make the right decisions in critical situations instead
of getting nervous and getting a good outcome.
On the other hand
, there are various advantages to taking modern technology as a major in academics. Getting a better job opportunity can be the main merit. In this
modern era, most developed companies want an employee who has skills in computers or has excess IT. Students of technology built strong proficiency in this
sector during their academic studies and got priority to achieve high-position jobs. Additionally
, they also
offered them a handsome salary along with
other incentives for their efficiency. In contrast
, learning about science can make life easier and provide a better lifestyle. For example
, a servey
conducted at AL-Yamaha secondary school shows that 65% of students are more interested in attending computer labs than watching Correct your spelling
survey
server
world war
2 documentaries.
In conclusion, studying Correct your spelling
World War
history
provides much information about our roots and cultural values. From my perspective, considering the future, we should place more emphasis on learning science and technology-related topics.Submitted by saimonsohan121 on
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introduction conclusion
Your introduction provides a good basis for your essay; however, adding a thesis statement that summarizes your main points would enhance clarity and set a roadmap for your arguments. In your conclusion, reiterating your thesis and summarizing your major points will create a stronger, more cohesive argument.
logical structure
The logical structure of your body paragraphs seems inconsistent. To improve, begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by an explanation, example, and final statement that links back to the essay question.
supported main points
You provided some examples and reasons for your arguments, but they could be more specific and directly related to the question. To clarify and support your main points better, include more detailed and direct examples that are explicitly tied to the benefits and drawbacks of studying history versus science and technology.
complete response
You have addressed the task, but to fully achieve the prompt's requirements, ensure that you are responding to all parts of the question. Expand on how your arguments connect to the importance of school subjects today, and provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting a reasoned conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarification of your ideas is crucial for a comprehensive understanding. Aim to express your points with precision and depth. Each paragraph should explore its main idea thoroughly, leaving no ambiguity about your stance on the subject matter.
relevant specific examples
Your use of examples is good, but they could be more relevant to the task. Make sure that each example you provide is directly pertinent to the subject of the essay, and use it to illustrate your point fully. Diversify your examples and avoid generalities.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?