Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Every subject has an impact on modern phenomena. Several individuals opine that

history

Use synonyms

is an essential subject for school learners

whereas

Linking Words

the opposite opinion is that studying modern subjects

such

Linking Words

as science and technology is more effective. Personally, I support the second statement, and in the following paragraphs, I will discuss both views and the reasons for my bias. On the one hand, the main benefit of studying

history

Use synonyms

is gathering knowledge about traditional cultures.

History

Use synonyms

teaches students about their ancestors' lives and deciphers many events that are still remembered today. In fact, learners can know the details of the past, and from

this

Linking Words

skill, they can take convenient steps to protect modern societies.

For instance

Linking Words

, politicians who have knowledge about historical events can make the right decisions in critical situations

instead

Linking Words

of getting nervous and getting a good outcome.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are various advantages to taking modern technology as a major in academics. Getting a better job opportunity can be the main merit. In

this

Linking Words

modern era, most developed companies want an employee who has skills in computers or has excess IT. Students of technology built strong proficiency in

this

Linking Words

sector during their academic studies and got priority to achieve high-position jobs.

Additionally

Linking Words

, they

also

Linking Words

offered them a handsome salary

along with

Linking Words

other incentives for their efficiency.

In contrast

Linking Words

, learning about science can make life easier and provide a better lifestyle.

For example

Linking Words

, a

servey

Correct your spelling

survey

server

conducted at AL-Yamaha secondary school shows that 65% of students are more interested in attending computer labs than watching

world war

Correct your spelling

World War

show examples

2 documentaries. In conclusion, studying

history

Use synonyms

provides much information about our roots and cultural values. From my perspective, considering the future, we should place more emphasis on learning science and technology-related topics.

saimonsohan121Mon Jan 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction provides a good basis for your essay; however, adding a thesis statement that summarizes your main points would enhance clarity and set a roadmap for your arguments. In your conclusion, reiterating your thesis and summarizing your major points will create a stronger, more cohesive argument.

logical structure

The logical structure of your body paragraphs seems inconsistent. To improve, begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by an explanation, example, and final statement that links back to the essay question.

supported main points

You provided some examples and reasons for your arguments, but they could be more specific and directly related to the question. To clarify and support your main points better, include more detailed and direct examples that are explicitly tied to the benefits and drawbacks of studying history versus science and technology.

complete response

You have addressed the task, but to fully achieve the prompt's requirements, ensure that you are responding to all parts of the question. Expand on how your arguments connect to the importance of school subjects today, and provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting a reasoned conclusion.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarification of your ideas is crucial for a comprehensive understanding. Aim to express your points with precision and depth. Each paragraph should explore its main idea thoroughly, leaving no ambiguity about your stance on the subject matter.

relevant specific examples

Your use of examples is good, but they could be more relevant to the task. Make sure that each example you provide is directly pertinent to the subject of the essay, and use it to illustrate your point fully. Diversify your examples and avoid generalities.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

crucial
comprehend
retrospect
gain insights
reflect on
sharpen
evaluate
significance
heritage
legacy
advent
breakthroughs
sustain
sustainability
revolutions
empowered
overcome
transform
advancements
collaboration
cooperation
diversity
fulfilling
promote
facilitate
prosperity
enhance
foster
foundation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The health benefits tof physical excercise are well-known. Despite this, a lot of people do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them to excercise more often?
The positive outcomes of physical exercise are widely known. However, people still do not exercise often. This essay will explore why people are not engaged in sportive activities and what would be possible approaches to stimulate them to exercise more regularly.
4.5
band
Write a letter to a community college in America which invited you to talk about your country. In your letter Accept invitation and suggest preferable dates Tell them what your talks will be about And what equipment you require them to arrange
I am writing this letter to inform you that I have received your invitation. I do appreciate much!
7
band
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is considered by some that being a university graduate leads to a successful career, while there are others who think that it is better for teenagers to work straight when finishing school.
<4
band
Sport is one of the most draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. To what extent do you agree wit this view?
People are immersively entertained by the sports watching on television. Some people think that
5
band
Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governemnts to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?
The main problem with making legal something as transient and micro-sized as recycling lays on the shift of responsibilities to the individuals for issue as big as environmental crisis. If this is implemented, it indicates the further atomization of interconnected and complex issues by the government. Who, in doing so, is taking a step back in governing and doing some real actions. I now will elaborate this further.

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history.

Your opinion

The health benefits tof physical excercise are well-known. Despite this, a lot of people do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them to excercise more often?

Write a letter to a community college in America which invited you to talk about your country. In your letter Accept invitation and suggest preferable dates Tell them what your talks will be about And what equipment you require them to arrange

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sport is one of the most draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. To what extent do you agree wit this view?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governemnts to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?