'Telecommiuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each weak and communicating with their office using computer technology. How do you think society will be affected by the growh of telecommuting?
There is a rising trend
about
working from anywhere coming from the habit during the quarantine phenomenon. Change preposition
of
This
trend surely brings many changes to the society. This
essay will provide parts of society which are affected by the working transformation.
The increasing phenomenon about
telecommuting has several Change preposition
of
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts
to
people’s activities. First of all, it Change preposition
on
brings
Verb problem
has
impact
on life outside work. The employees can spend more Correct article usage
an impact
time
with others, such
as their families, friends, and children while
also
working on their tasks. This
offers more advantages for employees with double roles. For example
, working parents can spend more time
with their children because they can work Change preposition
at
in
Change preposition
at
home
. Add an article
the home
Furthermore
, the employees do not have to spend time
on
commuting and getting ready. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, they can do other things right before the office hours begin and after the closing hour directly. Consequently
, they will spend their time
effectively.
There are also
several aspects that will be affected. Firstly
, transformation
to telecommuting Correct article usage
the transformation
also
affects the environment. By doing their jobs from anywhere, there will be a reduction in traffic congestion because people do not have to commute to their offline office
. Fix the agreement mistake
offices
In addition
, it will also
lower the pollution rate since the number of transportation is reduced. Moreover
, telecommuting will change the management of the company, because the company have to making
new protocols and procedures for working from anywhere. Change the verb
make
Therefore
, it needs several new adaptation
.
Change to a plural noun
adaptations
To conclude
, it is obviously
that telecommuting will change employees’ daily Change the word
obvious
life
to be more flexible with fresher air, but they have to adapt to new management to suit the change.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by stacya.wijaya20 on
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task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your essay answers all parts of the question thoroughly. While you have made a good attempt to discuss the societal impact of telecommuting, you could benefit from expanding your explanation with more detailed and varied examples.
coherence cohesion
Try to create a more structured approach in order to improve coherence and cohesion. This includes organizing your essay into clear, well-defined paragraphs that each deal with a single main idea. Also, use a wider range of linking phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs seamlessly.
task achievement
When providing examples to support your main points, make sure they are specific and relevant to the topic of telecommuting. Developing these examples in depth will illustrate your points more convincingly and improve your essay's depth of analysis.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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