Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each orther. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A group of individuals think that in
this
modern era, many people are completely
reliable
Replace the word
reliant
show examples
on each other.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, others think that they have
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
more independent and do whatever they like.
This
essay will discuss both perspectives with their reasoned points and
exapmle
Correct your spelling
examples
. I opine by stating that the individuals in
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
time believe they are free and can do whatever they
likes
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like
show examples
.
To begin
with,the use of technology has been ushered in
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
generation and because of
this
, almost everyone
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
dependent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new inventions. Some are waiting for the government or the great scientist to launch a new design and to invent those things which can reduce the regular chores of a normal citizen.
For example
, In
Africa
Add a comma
Africa,
show examples
majority of the individuals are in
Add an article
the belief
show examples
belief
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believe
show examples
that the federal government will take some
precations
Correct your spelling
precautions
show examples
in order to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty.
As a result
, they don't try and look after a new job. They just spend their whole life staying in
this
thought that the high people will help them in improving their lifestyle.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Contrary
Correct article usage
the Contrary
show examples
, Some think that they are more free and can do whatever they like. They usually believe that because of all the human rights which were implemented in the past few decades, give them
their
Change the word
the
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to become so open. But
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
this
can
also
bring certain evils.
For Instance
, In
Pakistan
Add a comma
Pakistan,
show examples
it is believed that the army and the terrorist are so free that they can even take control of their own government. These terrorists can even blast their own small part of the city without any fear. I believe that, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
passess
Correct your spelling
passes
and the new generation should be taught some manners
anlet
Correct your spelling
let
and let
them know about the rules and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
. So that they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
do things over the head. In conclusion, taking any
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country from the whole world there will be always two
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
of groups,
firstly
the one who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
always dependent and the other who can do whatever they like. So
this
can be a
never ending
Add a hyphen
never-ending
show examples
dispute and it will go on for a long time.
Submitted by hlife4454 on

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introduction
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logical structure
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay by organizing ideas into paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
examples
Avoid overgeneralizations and unsupported statements. Provide strong, relevant examples to support each point you make.
conclusion
Be consistent with your point of view throughout the essay and clearly convey it in your conclusion.
grammar
Work on grammar and punctuation to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task response
Address the question directly and develop your arguments fully to improve task achievement.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to help link ideas and paragraphs coherently.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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