The only way to improve the safety on our roads is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#safety #roads #punishment #offenders

The growing number of

car

accidents

has been an ongoing debate in recent years. In order

toreduce

Correct your spelling

to reduce

the

prevelance

Correct your spelling

prevalence

accidents

, implementing stricter punishment is being offered by some.

This

essay disagrees with

this

idea

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and will explain the importance of providing better driving education

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and increasing the minimum legal

age

for driving rather than overpriced

fine

Fix the agreement mistake

fines

show examples

for driving offenders. One of the reasons why

barely

Correct article usage

a barely

show examples

punishing

crowd

Fix the agreement mistake

crowds

show examples

can not accepted as an effective way in order to create safer

roads

is that

this

method can not solve the root of

pthe roblem

Correct your spelling

the problem

. Without focusing on the underlying cause, like uneducated

drivers

Add a comma

drivers,

show examples

it is almost impossible to build safer

roads

. As people are able to drive with insufficient traffic education, they put themselves and

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

at risk

due to

their lack of experience.

It is clear that

only punishing these

drivers

can not improve their driving skills,

moreover

, after they pay the fine they are likely to continue to put themselves and other

drivers

Change preposition

show examples

dangerous situations.

For

this

reason, encouraging

individual's

Change noun form

individual

show examples

traffic

educations

Fix the agreement mistake

education

show examples

, and

also

regulating testing systems would be

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

efective

Correct your spelling

effective

way to mitigate the

prevelance

Correct your spelling

prevalence

car

accidents

On the other hand

, despite stricter punishment methods, including high

fines

Add the comma(s)

fines,

show examples

may have

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

impact on low-income

drivers

, wealthier men and women can easily afford the price. Owing to their strong financial status, they are not affected by punishments as much as poor ones,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

so they can keep their wrongdoings on the road.

For example

, numerous

car

accidents

, which result in fatalities are driven by careless

drivers

, who lead to more than three

accidents

in their lifespan in Turkey. Since they can pay the fine, they are able to drive.

Furthermore

, the majority of

car

accidents

are driven by

drivers

whose

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

age

Correct your spelling

are

show examples

between 18 and 20. Since they

have

Add a missing verb

do have

show examples

not enough

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

in driving

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and can be distracted easily, they are likely to lead to

accidents

more than adults. In order to create more peaceful

roads

rising

Correct your spelling

raising

show examples

minimum

Correct article usage

the minimum

show examples

legal

age

to 25 would make a world of difference

respective

Change preposition

in respective

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

road safety.

To conclude

car

accidents

are admitted one of the most remarkable causes of death,

while

some people believe

Change preposition

that

show examples

implementing

stricker

Correct your spelling

strict

laws or punishments may alleviate the number of

accidents

, I personally disagree with

this

notion.

By providing

Change preposition

Providing

show examples

better well-rounded education and testing

sytems

Correct your spelling

systems

, and increasing the minimum legal

age

for driving would be more effective

to decrease

Change preposition

in decreasing

show examples

the risky situations on

roads

Submitted by ilaydailday on Mon Jan 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and follow with supporting sentences that back up the main point.

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points with a mix of general statements and specific examples. While your essay has main points, it lacks detailed examples to illustrate them, which could strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Remain focused on the prompt throughout the essay and make sure every paragraph contributes to addressing the question. Avoid going off-topic or discussing irrelevant information.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of linking words to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. There was some repetition and underuse of cohesive devices that would have improved the logical flow.

task achievement

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and work on reducing the number of errors in sentence structure, tense usage, and article usage, which sometimes hinder communication of your ideas.

task achievement

Expand on your examples with more depth. Merely stating that wealthier people can pay fines is not enough; explaining how this fails to deter repeat offenses would be more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

408 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The only way to improve the safety on our roads is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter ● explain why you changed jobs ● describe your new job ● tell him/her your other news.

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is reason for doing this? Is this negative or positive development?

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems?