In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In
this
contemporary era, an increasing number of
people
are inclined to stay in cities rather than rural areas, and
then
the population in the countryside is reducing. In my perspective,
this
is a
nagative
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negative
development for many
conutries
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countries
, the national economies will lower
graually
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gradually
because there are few
people
doing a job of fishing or agriculture.
Additionally
, some urban areas have become more crowded than ever before,
diminishing
Correct word choice
and diminishing
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living
quailty
Correct your spelling
quality
is
also
a
servere
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severe
server
problem. First of all, without finishing or some rural
ocuppations
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occupations
, leading to a huge drawback that
lower
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lowers
show examples
the GDP of nations, if a country does not have works of agriculture, it will force the government to spend a significant amount of money in purchasing farming items.
For example
, in Singapore, the zone of
this
contury
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country
is too urban to allow residents to create a land for
cultiveting
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cultivating
cultivation
plenty of plants so
that
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apply
show examples
paying enormous expenditures on
these career
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this career
these careers
show examples
is essential for Singapore.
Furthermore
, in
this
sort of situation, moving to cities
mean
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means
show examples
that the urban regions would be
extremly
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extremely
crowded than
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the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
, which
causing
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causes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal mental problems and
minimizing
Wrong verb form
minimises
show examples
residents' living
quailty
Correct your spelling
quality
levels.
For instance
, in Hong Kong,
people
need to spend 1000 USD per month on an immensely small apartment room, forcing each citizen to live
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in a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
awful condition directing them into a mental hell.
Overall
, the extra populations
transporting
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transported
show examples
to cities not only make
national
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the national
show examples
GDP drop
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
create
Verb problem
makes
show examples
a lot of
people
feel depressed. I firmly believe that
this
the government have a
signifiant
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significant
responseibility
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responsibility
to publish or
implentment
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implement
a policy to help the inhabitants.
Submitted by binyang212 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph contains one clear main idea with supporting sentences that directly relate to that idea. Consider using topic sentences to introduce the main point of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas from one sentence to the next. Use a variety of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, pronouns, and synonyms to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
Task Achievement
Expand on the examples you give by explaining why they are relevant and how they support your argument. Be specific rather than general in your explanations.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task. Ensure that you discuss the implications of both the negative and positive sides of the development, even if you choose to argue predominantly for one side.
Language

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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