IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without playing. To waht extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#future #nobody #newspaper #books #waht
In
this
 contemporary era, there is an ongoing contention that society
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 switch to online reading from printed media in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
time
. I am totally satisfied with the above notion and in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
 paragraphs would like to elaborate more with suitable examples.
To begin
 with, cost is
one
 of the major
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind
this
 issue as e-learning is
cheapest
Correct article usage
the cheapest
show examples
 among all the other modes of reading
whereas
one
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to invest
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
 amount of
money
 to buy
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 books.
For example
, in Singapore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper is so expensive as
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
one
 tree is equal to
laptop
Add an article
the laptop
a laptop
show examples
.
Moreover
, papers are
also
 polluting the environment because
one
 needs to garbage the books
at the end
 of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 use
however
,
this
 step is not
affecting
Rephrase
only affecting
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 the atmosphere but
also
 the
wastage
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
 of
money
 as well. 
Furthermore
, sometimes the fonts are not
easy
Change the adjective
easily
show examples
 accessible for the readers and they need to focus more
while
 reading which directly affects their eyes.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,online learning is
easy
Change the adjective
easily
show examples
 available at
one
 click and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 do not need to go anywhere for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
search
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
material which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not
saves
Rephrase
only saves
show examples
money
 but
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
.
However
, there is no doubt virtual study is
easiest
Change the article
the easiest
show examples
 mode but there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more chances of getting fictitious data
due to
large
Correct article usage
the large
show examples
 amount of modifications by the online contenders. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
 would be more beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in
coking
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
time
due to
 factors
such
 as
money
,
time
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
accessibility and so on but
one
 cannot ignore the fact of wrong information on the internet.
Submitted by sunnygarg710 on

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logical structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body and conclusion. The introduction should set up the argument, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a distinct idea with relevant examples, culminating in a summarizing conclusion.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to clearly signpost the direction of the argument and to link ideas. Avoid jumping between ideas without clear transitions.
task achievement
Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the task and demonstrate a clear opinion throughout the essay. While you have presented an agreement with the statement, continue to develop each point with more detail and support them with relevant examples.
relevant examples
Incorporate specific and detailed examples to support your main points. Avoid vague statements and ensure examples are relevant to the argument you are making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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