IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparison where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparison where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#floor #plan #library #years #summerise #information #features #comparison
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The
two
Use synonyms
 maps depict
interior
Add an article
the interior
show examples
 design of a central library
two
Use synonyms
 decades ago and how it has been transformed presently.
Overall
Linking Words
, there have been a lot of changes encompassing the function of each
room
Use synonyms
 and existing of additional
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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. Twenty years ago, there were
two
Use synonyms
 tables and sixteen chairs located in the middle of the library, and these facilities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been removed. Another change is that to the right of the entrance, there is a cafe which was originally used as an enquiry desk. A
room
Use synonyms
 in front of
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
a cafe
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, just on the left side of the entrance,
also
Linking Words
 has been changed from
reading
Correct article usage
a reading
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room
Use synonyms
 to
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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room
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the function of
two
Use synonyms
 other rooms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
also
Linking Words
 been transformed.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
children’s
Correct article usage
the children’s
show examples
 book area, located
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
north-east
Correct your spelling
northeast
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 side, was converted to the lecture
room
Use synonyms
 facing
to
Change preposition
apply
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the information desk in the corridor. Apart from the information desk, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 additional
facility
Change the noun form
facilities
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
self-serfice
Correct your spelling
self-service
 machines and all reference
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 in the corridor now.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a
room
Use synonyms
 that
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 for CDs, videos and computer games has been changed
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a storytelling
room
Use synonyms
 these days.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, room with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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