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In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society
Longevity has become a topic considering
people
 nowadays can take care of themselves better than in the past. A certain amount of the populace
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that
Correct article usage
the elder
show examples
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
show examples
 a problem for
society
,
while
another
Correct quantifier usage
others
show examples
 oppose that having a number of old
people
 is good for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. In
this
 essay, the benefits and drawbacks will be discussed. The presence of an older generation has a number of benefits for a country. A person of age fifty and older had more experiences in terms of professional and personal life.
For instance
, the management field could use a lot of guidance from an older person because the subject requires various skills
such
 as social skills, financial management
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
 skills, etc. As for personal life, as experienced as we think we are, without our
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 and grandparent’s
disciplines
Fix the agreement mistake
discipline
show examples
, we wouldn’t be able to grow up as a proper and reliable human being.
However
, a
society
 may be facing a drawback if the population of younger
people
 are lower than elderly
people
. As much help as a senior is able to provide for the newcomers, a country
also
 needs the energy of the new generation. In order to keep on evolving as an individual and a family, fresh ideas, creativity and strength for implementation are very much needed for development in a
society
. In conclusion, there are more advantages of having an elder in our
society
 because not only
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 they manage to transform us into a better person, but numerous sectors of employment still need their instructions.
Hence
, elderly
people
 have provided
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 to build a
society
 more than we know.
Submitted by movya_ly on

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task achievement
You need to work on developing your main points further. Each paragraph should clearly address the topic and provide more detailed examples or explanations to support the idea you are presenting.
coherence and cohesion
Strive for a clear and logical flow of ideas. Your essay should have a progression of thoughts that leads the reader to understand your argument. Use connective words and transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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