Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Smartphones
create a breakthrough in human lives. Use synonyms
People
can get almost all of the Use synonyms
information
on Use synonyms
this
portable device, including weather forecasts, daily news, financial issues, and so on. Linking Words
In addition
, Linking Words
people
can connect with each other through a variety of social media by sending messages, Use synonyms
making
phone calls. What
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and making
As a result
, It is common Linking Words
that
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for
people
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at
all ages Change preposition
of
have
their own Fix the infinitive
to have
smartphones
, and spend a lot of Use synonyms
time
scrolling them, and Use synonyms
this
phenomenon Linking Words
also
appears in Linking Words
children
.Use synonyms
While
using Linking Words
smartphones
for hours can yield both positive and negative outcomes, I believe that the disadvantages of Use synonyms
children
using Use synonyms
smartphones
Use synonyms
outweighs
the advantages.
One of the drawbacks of Wrong verb form
outweigh
children
spending Use synonyms
time
using Use synonyms
smartphones
is the injuries to their eyesight and the harm to their posture. Normally, our physical state gets stable after Use synonyms
teenage
, and it is important to have Correct article usage
the teenage
a
normal development in childhood. If Remove the article
apply
children
spend too much Use synonyms
time
scrolling the screen, it may harm their vision Use synonyms
due to
the blue light. Turtleneck and kyphosis are two of the common problems that appear in smartphone Linking Words
addictors
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addicts
,
since they aren’t aware of their postures when using Remove the comma
apply
smartphones
.
Another disadvantage is that Use synonyms
children
may easily be misled by the Use synonyms
information
on the network. Use synonyms
People
in childhood don’t have the ability to think critically, so they may tend to believe everything they see on the internet without suspicion, or even mimic what they see even though it’s dangerous.
Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
smartphones
have become a necessity in our Use synonyms
life
, so it is crucial for Fix the agreement mistake
lives
children
to learn how to use these high-tech devices to make our Use synonyms
life
more convenient. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For example
, Linking Words
children
can search Use synonyms
Use synonyms
information
online for their homework without checking heavy books, or Change preposition
for information
children
can learn how to get to an unfamiliar place by using online maps.
In my opinion, spending Use synonyms
time
on Use synonyms
smartphones
in childhood gives opportunities to broaden Use synonyms
the
horizons, but it is Change the word
their
also
important for parents to track their Linking Words
children
’s smartphone activity, ensuring they Use synonyms
don’t
be misled by Correct your spelling
won’t
information
or become a phone Use synonyms
addictor
Correct your spelling
addict
due to
spending too much Linking Words
time
on it.Use synonyms
Submitted by J.C.Li.1997.11 on
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structure
Consider structuring your essay more clearly with well-defined paragraphs including an introduction outlining the question, followed by paragraphs that discuss each point in turn, and a clear conclusion summarizing your views.
task response
Make sure to address all parts of the task and devote an equal amount of discussion to why children spend hours on smartphones and whether it's a positive or negative development. Spend sufficient time developing each point with clear explanations and specific examples.
cohesion
Improve the linkage between your ideas using a range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
grammar
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors, incomplete sentences, and ensure proper sentence structure for increased clarity and better expression.
examples
Expand upon the ideas presented with specific examples to support your arguments, such as citing research or statistics, or providing hypothetical situations that illustrate your points more vividly.
balance
Offer a more balanced view on the positive and negative aspects of smartphone usage for children, ensuring that the essay doesn't lean too heavily on one side without adequate exploration of the other.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.