Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Smartphones
create a breakthrough in human lives. People
can get almost all of the information
on this
portable device, including weather forecasts, daily news, financial issues, and so on. In addition
, people
can connect with each other through a variety of social media by sending messages, making
phone calls. What
Correct word choice
and making
As a result
, It is common that
Correct word choice
for
people
at
all ages Change preposition
of
have
their own Fix the infinitive
to have
smartphones
, and spend a lot of time
scrolling them, and this
phenomenon also
appears in children
.While
using smartphones
for hours can yield both positive and negative outcomes, I believe that the disadvantages of children
using smartphones
outweighs
the advantages.
One of the drawbacks of Wrong verb form
outweigh
children
spending time
using smartphones
is the injuries to their eyesight and the harm to their posture. Normally, our physical state gets stable after teenage
, and it is important to have Correct article usage
the teenage
a
normal development in childhood. If Remove the article
apply
children
spend too much time
scrolling the screen, it may harm their vision due to
the blue light. Turtleneck and kyphosis are two of the common problems that appear in smartphone addictors
Correct your spelling
addicts
,
since they aren’t aware of their postures when using Remove the comma
apply
smartphones
.
Another disadvantage is that children
may easily be misled by the information
on the network. People
in childhood don’t have the ability to think critically, so they may tend to believe everything they see on the internet without suspicion, or even mimic what they see even though it’s dangerous.
However
, smartphones
have become a necessity in our life
, so it is crucial for Fix the agreement mistake
lives
children
to learn how to use these high-tech devices to make our life
more convenient. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For example
, children
can search information
online for their homework without checking heavy books, or Change preposition
for information
children
can learn how to get to an unfamiliar place by using online maps.
In my opinion, spending time
on smartphones
in childhood gives opportunities to broaden the
horizons, but it is Change the word
their
also
important for parents to track their children
’s smartphone activity, ensuring they don’t
be misled by Correct your spelling
won’t
information
or become a phone addictor
Correct your spelling
addict
due to
spending too much time
on it.Submitted by J.C.Li.1997.11 on
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structure
Consider structuring your essay more clearly with well-defined paragraphs including an introduction outlining the question, followed by paragraphs that discuss each point in turn, and a clear conclusion summarizing your views.
task response
Make sure to address all parts of the task and devote an equal amount of discussion to why children spend hours on smartphones and whether it's a positive or negative development. Spend sufficient time developing each point with clear explanations and specific examples.
cohesion
Improve the linkage between your ideas using a range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
grammar
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors, incomplete sentences, and ensure proper sentence structure for increased clarity and better expression.
examples
Expand upon the ideas presented with specific examples to support your arguments, such as citing research or statistics, or providing hypothetical situations that illustrate your points more vividly.
balance
Offer a more balanced view on the positive and negative aspects of smartphone usage for children, ensuring that the essay doesn't lean too heavily on one side without adequate exploration of the other.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.