Nowadays, more people are becoming overweight. Some people think that tge solution is to increase the price of fattening food? To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #tge #price #food

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Today,

fat

Replace the word

fatty

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food is blamed for an

increasing

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increase

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Change preposition

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overweight persons. One school of thought holds that countries should

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

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fat food prices to combat

this

Linking Words

trend.

While

Linking Words

I accept that

this

Linking Words

perception is somewhat justifiable, I assert that

solution

Correct article usage

the solution

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also

Linking Words

brings some drawbacks to that notion. On the one hand, it is understandable why a number of people consider higher fattening

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

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could prevent people from obesity. First and foremost, it could improve citizens' health.

For example

Linking Words

, several residents would prefer cheaper and healthier foods than

Add an article

a fat

the fat

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fat

Replace the word

fatty

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meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

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such

Linking Words

vegetable

Fix the agreement mistake

vegetables

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rices

Change the wording

rice

kinds of rice

packets of rice

grains of rice

show examples

, and herbs, these healthy

incredients

Correct your spelling

ingredients

could improve their immune systems to guard

agaist

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against

serious diseases.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the expensive price of fatty dishes could lower the health problems caused by

put

Wrong verb form

putting

show examples

on weight.

Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on Tue Jan 23 2024

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Coherence/Cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, at least 2-3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be expanded upon with explanations or examples.

Task Achievement

Focus on fully developing your argument throughout the essay. Make sure to extend on the points you raise with explanations or examples. Create balance by discussing both sides if the question calls for it.

Task Achievement

The essay needs to be completed as you have not provided a conclusion. Revisit the requirements of the task to ensure you fulfill the assignment by giving a full response to the prompt.

Coherence/Cohesion

Check your essay for grammatical errors and typos, as these can impact the overall coherence and clarity of your argument. Ensure that you have an appropriate range of vocabulary without repetition.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

125 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
fattening foods
consumption
deter
healthy eating habits
subsidize
accessible
marketing
advertising
lifestyle
socioeconomic factors
psychological aspects
food deserts
disproportionately

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Nowadays, more people are becoming overweight. Some people think that tge solution is to increase the price of fattening food? To what extent do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement?