Nowadays, more people are becoming overweight. Some people think that tge solution is to increase the price of fattening food? To what extent do you agree or disagree

Today,
fat
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fatty
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food is blamed for an
increasing
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increase
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of
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in
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overweight persons. One school of thought holds that countries should
rise
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raise
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fat food prices to combat
this
trend.
While
I accept that
this
perception is somewhat justifiable, I assert that
solution
Correct article usage
the solution
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also
brings some drawbacks to that notion. On the one hand, it is understandable why a number of people consider higher fattening
meal
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meals
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could prevent people from obesity. First and foremost, it could improve citizens' health.
For example
, several residents would prefer cheaper and healthier foods than
Add an article
a fat
the fat
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fat
Replace the word
fatty
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meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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,
such
as
vegetable
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vegetables
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,
rices
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rice
kinds of rice
packets of rice
grains of rice
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, and herbs, these healthy
incredients
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ingredients
could improve their immune systems to guard
agaist
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against
serious diseases.
Furthermore
, the expensive price of fatty dishes could lower the health problems caused by
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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on weight.
Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on

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Coherence/Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, at least 2-3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be expanded upon with explanations or examples.
Task Achievement
Focus on fully developing your argument throughout the essay. Make sure to extend on the points you raise with explanations or examples. Create balance by discussing both sides if the question calls for it.
Task Achievement
The essay needs to be completed as you have not provided a conclusion. Revisit the requirements of the task to ensure you fulfill the assignment by giving a full response to the prompt.
Coherence/Cohesion
Check your essay for grammatical errors and typos, as these can impact the overall coherence and clarity of your argument. Ensure that you have an appropriate range of vocabulary without repetition.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • fattening foods
  • consumption
  • deter
  • healthy eating habits
  • subsidize
  • accessible
  • marketing
  • advertising
  • lifestyle
  • socioeconomic factors
  • psychological aspects
  • food deserts
  • disproportionately
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