Nowadays, more people are becoming overweight. Some people think that tge solution is to increase the price of fattening food? To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #tge #price #food

Today,

fat

Replace the word

fatty

show examples

food is blamed for an

increasing

Replace the word

increase

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

overweight persons. One school of thought holds that countries should

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

fat food prices to combat

this

trend.

While

I accept that

this

perception is somewhat justifiable, I assert that

solution

Correct article usage

the solution

show examples

also

brings some drawbacks to that notion. On the one hand, it is understandable why a number of people consider higher fattening

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

could prevent people from obesity. First and foremost, it could improve citizens' health.

For example

, several residents would prefer cheaper and healthier foods than

Add an article

a fat

the fat

show examples

fat

Replace the word

fatty

show examples

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

such

vegetable

Fix the agreement mistake

vegetables

show examples

rices

Change the wording

rice

kinds of rice

packets of rice

grains of rice

show examples

, and herbs, these healthy

incredients

Correct your spelling

ingredients

could improve their immune systems to guard

agaist

Correct your spelling

against

serious diseases.

Furthermore

, the expensive price of fatty dishes could lower the health problems caused by

put

Wrong verb form

putting

show examples

on weight.

Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on Tue Jan 23 2024

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Coherence/Cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, at least 2-3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be expanded upon with explanations or examples.

Task Achievement

Focus on fully developing your argument throughout the essay. Make sure to extend on the points you raise with explanations or examples. Create balance by discussing both sides if the question calls for it.

Task Achievement

The essay needs to be completed as you have not provided a conclusion. Revisit the requirements of the task to ensure you fulfill the assignment by giving a full response to the prompt.

Coherence/Cohesion

Check your essay for grammatical errors and typos, as these can impact the overall coherence and clarity of your argument. Ensure that you have an appropriate range of vocabulary without repetition.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

125 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
fattening foods
consumption
deter
healthy eating habits
subsidize
accessible
marketing
advertising
lifestyle
socioeconomic factors
psychological aspects
food deserts
disproportionately

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Nowadays, more people are becoming overweight. Some people think that tge solution is to increase the price of fattening food? To what extent do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's society, the media plays a significant role in shaping public opinion and influencing people's behavior. However, it also has its drawbacks. What problems can arise from the media's influence, and how can these issues be addressed?

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.