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Band 5.5

The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #people #priority #countries #world #adults #society
Education
 plays a crucial role in countries worldwide, with a primary emphasis on the younger population.
However
, there is a compelling argument that addressing the educational needs of adults who lack basic
literacy
 skills is equally vital for societal progress. In my view, allocating additional funds for
adult
education
 is essential as it fosters inclusivity, promotes economic growth, and addresses underlying societal challenges. One key reason supporting
adult
education
 is its role in breaking down barriers for individuals with limited reading and writing skills. Adults facing
literacy
 challenges often encounter difficulties accessing information, obtaining employment, and actively participating in their communities. By providing more funding for
adult
literacy
 programs, societies can empower these individuals to overcome these hurdles, fostering inclusivity and social cohesion.
Moreover
, investing in
adult
literacy
 has tangible economic benefits. A literate workforce is better equipped to meet the demands of a dynamic job market, leading to enhanced productivity and innovation. Improved
literacy
 skills among adults contribute to reducing unemployment rates, ultimately bolstering the economic prosperity of the community. In conclusion, I firmly agree that more funding should be made available for
adult
education
. Addressing
adult
 illiteracy is a key step towards building a more inclusive, economically robust, and socially resilient society. Striking a balance between investments in the
education
 of both young and
adult
 populations ensures a holistic strategy for societal advancement.
Submitted by salihzekikoni on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. To improve the logical structure, aim to build a more cohesive argument by connecting your points more explicitly throughout the paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your line of reasoning.
task achievement
Your response to the task is complete, but integrating more specific examples would enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Provide more detailed illustrations to support your arguments, using statistics, studies, or anecdotal evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy
  • illiteracy
  • funding
  • resources
  • early education
  • educational foundation
  • economic benefits
  • societal impact
  • eradicating illiteracy
  • moral and ethical responsibility
  • intersectionality
  • case studies
  • allocation of resources
  • long-term benefits
  • contribution
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • social issues
What to do next:
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