As air travel has become cheaper, more and more people are travelling abroad for their vacations instead of visiting places in their own country. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Travelling by plane is the mode of
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
that is
mostly preferred by travellers with far destinations. Lately, the Indonesian government has come up with plans that make flights
cheaper, leading to more international flights
occuring
. Correct your spelling
occurring
This
is backed up by the intention to promote the growth of the nation's economy
. However
, this
endeavour has sparked both benefits and drawbacks. Hence
, this
upcoming essay will discuss those
pros and cons.
Nowadays, there are a variety of reasons that demand Correct determiner usage
the
people
to visit other countries. Studying abroad, visiting families, expanding career opportunities, and going on a
holiday are some of them. That being said, more citizens will benefit more from the decreasing flight fares. Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, people
will be more attracted to places that offers
more Change the verb form
offer
opportunity
. Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
Secondly
, they wil
most likely take the chance to go for something that cannot be guaranteed to come again. Correct your spelling
will
Therefore
, international destinations will appear more appealing to the voyagers for the opportunities it
Correct pronoun usage
they
offers
.
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
On the other hand
, there are also
some drawbacks since domestic destinations have become less attractive. Firstly
, the local economical
condition will be affected because Correct word choice
economic
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
visit the tourist attractions. Secondly
, the downfall of interest towards domestic places is possible to harm the future of its tourism affairs of the region. For that reason, the risk of damaging the local economy
and tourism are the major drawbacks of this
falling price of air travel.
In a nutshell, it is understandable that the government has decreased the price of flights
due to
growing the nation's economy
which is the reason of
the growing number of international Change preposition
for
flights
. This
has supported a lot of people
to grab more opportunities other countries offer. Nevertheless
, there are also
some disadvantage
for the local Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
economy
. Therefore
, efforts to balance them out need to be done
.Verb problem
made
Submitted by nadiamanda.salsabilla on
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Introduction
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Task Achievement
Aim to provide a more nuanced discussion that delves deeply into the advantages and disadvantages mentioned in the prompt. Expand on ideas with more relevant details and examples to fulfill task requirements.
Examples
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Paragraph Structure
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Cohesive Devices
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to help connect ideas within and between paragraphs and to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.
Conclusion
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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