As air travel has become cheaper, more and more people are travelling abroad for their vacations instead of visiting places in their own country. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Travelling by plane is the mode of
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
that is
mostly preferred by travellers with far destinations. Lately, the Indonesian government has come up with plans that make
flights
cheaper, leading to more international
flights
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
.
This
is backed up by the intention to promote the growth of the nation's
economy
.
However
,
this
endeavour has sparked both benefits and drawbacks.
Hence
,
this
upcoming essay will discuss
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
pros and cons. Nowadays, there are a variety of reasons that demand
people
to visit other countries. Studying abroad, visiting families, expanding career opportunities, and going on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
holiday are some of them. That being said, more citizens will benefit more from the decreasing flight fares.
Firstly
,
people
will be more attracted to places that
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
.
Secondly
, they
wil
Correct your spelling
will
most likely take the chance to go for something that cannot be guaranteed to come again.
Therefore
, international destinations will appear more appealing to the voyagers for the opportunities
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there are
also
some drawbacks since domestic destinations have become less attractive.
Firstly
, the local
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
condition will be affected because
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
visit the tourist attractions.
Secondly
, the downfall of interest towards domestic places is possible to harm the future of its tourism affairs of the region. For that reason, the risk of damaging the local
economy
and tourism are the major drawbacks of
this
falling price of air travel. In a nutshell, it is understandable that the government has decreased the price of
flights
due to
growing the nation's
economy
which is the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the growing number of international
flights
.
This
has supported a lot of
people
to grab more opportunities other countries offer.
Nevertheless
, there are
also
some
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
for the local
economy
.
Therefore
, efforts to balance them out need to be
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
.
Submitted by nadiamanda.salsabilla on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. While your introduction is present, refining it to include a clear thesis would enhance its effectiveness.
Task Achievement
Aim to provide a more nuanced discussion that delves deeply into the advantages and disadvantages mentioned in the prompt. Expand on ideas with more relevant details and examples to fulfill task requirements.
Examples
Make sure to provide concrete examples to support your points, which could include statistics, case studies, or personal observations that are pertinent to the topic.
Paragraph Structure
Improve the coherence of your essay by better organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea and logical supporting sentences.
Cohesive Devices
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to help connect ideas within and between paragraphs and to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.
Conclusion
Ensure the conclusion summarizes the main points of your essay and restates your position clearly, providing a sense of closure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic boost
  • destination countries
  • hospitality
  • cultural exchange
  • global understanding
  • carbon emissions
  • global warming
  • sustainable development
  • local tourism
  • domestic tourists
What to do next:
Look at other essays: