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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays in many countries young people leave rural areas to study or work in cities. What are the reasons for this? Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #areas #study #work #cities #outweigh
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Nowadays, more and more people are leaving rural
areas
 to study or work in
Add an article
the center
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of towns, especially those in adolescence.
This
 essay believes the benefit outweighs the disadvantages, and
further
 will discuss the reasons why. The primary reason why early careers are leaving their small towns for metropolitans is because of employment prospects and income levels that are often better in urban
areas
. For students, downtowns offer a wider array of educational institutions, providing more options and specialized courses that might not be available in rural settings.
Moreover
, downtown districts often come up with more variation options of social and cultural attractions, like museums, theatres, and nightlife, making them more attractive
for
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to
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 many young adults. Aside from entertainment reasons, better infrastructure and services
such
 as healthcare, transportation, and technology in
muncipality
Correct your spelling
municipality
 are available in built-up
areas
, compared with the ones in the suburbs. Beyond the upsides of moving to a downtown area, there come some downsides as well.
Such
 as, for a person, moving from his hometown sometimes leads to a disconnect from family and
further
 losing his traditional values. As for the city itself, urban migration is one of the reasons that contribute to overpopulation, increased cost of living, and environmental degradation in
metropolis
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the metropolis
a metropolis
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,
while
 rural
areas
 face labour shortages and economic decline. To close with, the advantages of urbanization for oneself outweigh the disadvantages, because it can lead to innovation and personal growth. Not forgetting the disadvantages completely, they can be reduced with the increasing rate of online education and
also
 hybrid work opportunities that are more available today.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each body paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Develop your ideas with specific examples to provide a deeper analysis and to satisfy the task achievement criteria better.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be strengthened by clearly summarizing the main points made in the essay and giving a balanced consideration of both the benefits and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more to showcase a wider range of linguistic capabilities.
task achievement
Be more explicit in comparing the benefits and disadvantages to ensure that the reader fully understands why one outweighs the other, thus directly answering the essay prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • rural exodus
  • job market
  • academic institutions
  • cultural diversity
  • infrastructure
  • metropolitan
  • traditional values
  • overpopulation
  • innovation
  • networking opportunities
  • telecommuting
  • quality of life
  • economic disparity
  • environmental degradation
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