IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the unemployment rates in the USA and Japan between march 1993 and march 1999. write at least 150 words

the graph below shows the unemployment rates in the USA and Japan between march 1993 and march 1999. write at least 150 words
#unemployment #rates #usa #japan #march
the line graph gives information about the percentage of the unemployment
rates
 in the
USA
 and
Japan
 from March 1993 to March 1999.
Overall
, The unemployment
rates
 in
Japan
 show a significant rise over the period,
However
, the
rates
 in the
USA
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 a downward trend. The percentage of
Add an article
the work
show examples
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
 in
Japan
 increases gradually to 4.4% in Mar 96,
then
 it suddenly
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
 to 3.8 % between Mar 96 and Mar 97, and
then
 it has a gradual increase to reach its peak value which is 5.25% between Mar 98 and Mar 99,
Finally
, it experiences a fall in
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
 until the end of Mar 99. The
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 in the
USA
 is much higher than that in
Japan
 by 5% in Mar 93,
then
 it declines to be almost the same rate as
Japan
 between Mar 98 and Mar 99 ,
Moreover
, the rate of change in the
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
 in
Japan
 is much higher than that in the
USA
 from Mar 93 to Mar 98.
Submitted by mohamedicdl175 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words rates, usa, japan, work, force with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!