Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

it is said that free
time
activities
for
children
should be
plan
Wrong verb form
planned
show examples
by their
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents .
However
, others
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
children
should be pick what they
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
want .
im
Correct your spelling
in
my opinion,
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
plan
for
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activities
in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
free
time
.
on the other hand
, there are some advantages when
children
are allow
Change the verb form
are allowed
show examples
to pick their free
time
.
Firstly
, it can be to choose
activities
thatvthey
Correct your spelling
that they
want to join entertainment
activities
lead to feeling success and
fullfillment
Correct your spelling
fulfilment
.
Fox
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
example, the
children
be
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
parent
plan
activities
in their
children
’s free
time
to enhance their strengths and
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
for personal development.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
believe
that their
children
free
time
planned from parents can bring many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
.
Firstly
. parents find understanding their
children
’s interest so that can make to right
decsions
Correct your spelling
decisions
decision
. about arranging
activities
strengths help
develops
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
skills.
Add an article
a parent
the parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
Parents
show examples
who make
plan
Add an article
a plan
the plan
show examples
the
activities
for their
children
can promote lead to which form a
happi
Correct your spelling
happy
show examples
future for
children
.
Although
, allowing the
children
choose
Fix the infinitive
to choose
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
pasime
Correct your spelling
pastime
activities
help
children
have
feeling
Add an article
a feeling
the feeling
show examples
of satisfied
oppoturnity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
many
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
successfully
.
Parent
Fix the agreement mistake
Parents
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a play role arrange activity options for their
children
,
ensure
Correct word choice
and ensure
show examples
sustainable
Correct article usage
the sustainable
show examples
development of their
children
.
Submitted by thuhuyen16992qn on

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structure
The essay lacks a clear structure with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion. This could be improved by organizing the content into distinct paragraphs that clearly address the topic, provide support for each view, and then conclude with a summary of the arguments and your own opinion.
grammar and vocabulary
There are instances of grammatical errors, misspellings, and incorrect word choices throughout the essay. For a higher score, proofread your work to correct these issues and ensure proper sentence structure and vocabulary usage.
development and examples
Make sure to elaborate on your points with specific examples. The essay could be improved by providing detailed reasons and instances that show why parents planning activities can be beneficial or why children choosing their activities is advantageous.
sentence structure
The essay would benefit from more varied and complex sentence structures, which would demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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