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Band 4.5

Some people think that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for a country, while others disagree. Do the advantages of hosting a major sporting event outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #event #country
Nowadays, hosting
an international sporting occasions
Correct the article-noun agreement
an international sporting occasion
international sporting occasions
show examples
 may bring several benefits to the host
country
, ranging from the higher number of visitors to financial income.
However
, there are pros and cons in
this
 situation. In my opinion, hosting an international event will increase income for
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
government
, advertising the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 culture
as well as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourism,
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
show examples
 it
also
 brings negative effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 local security, and it
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 a large amount of
money
 from the
government
.
To begin
 with, the opportunity
of hosting
Change preposition
to host
show examples
 sports
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 worldwide events
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the best possible advertisement in culture to
substantial
Change the word
substantially
show examples
 an increasing of tourism.
For example
, an event hosting
Summer
Correct article usage
the Summer
show examples
 Olympics in Brisbane attracted a large number of visitors to Australia compared to the
last
 couple of years.
Moreover
, another significant factor is the great potential of
such
 events as a liable source of local
government
 income and local community.
For instance
, tennis grand slam tickets sold out
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a month earlier,
also
 local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
such
 as hotels,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
restaurants, beer-clubs increasing
double
Replace the word
doubled
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their profits in that month.
However
, there are some disadvantages of hosting sports occasions
are
Verb problem
such as
show examples
 the organization and preparation of sporting events
require
Wrong verb form
requiring
show examples
 a vast sum of
money
 and security
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
 for
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 community.
In particular
,
unfamiliarity
Add an article
the unfamiliarity
show examples
 of tourists with the norms of the local
country
 can give rise to
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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law-breaking
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 that may threaten the security of residents, most notably young children.
Additionally
, hosting
sport event
Fix the agreement mistake
sports events
show examples
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 a lot of
money
 to prepare.
This
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to a financial deficit if the host
country
 fails to dedicate adequate financial resources.
To sum up
, hosting an international sport will
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 several benefits to for local
government
 and
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 community. Still, it
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
also
 come with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
rising
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
law-breaking and
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 a large of
money
.
Submitted by sunnyrogle22 on

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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the task fairly well, but your argument could be strengthened by more thoroughly addressing how the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages. To improve, expand on your main points with more focused and comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly distinguish your paragraphs with topic sentences and use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. This will improve the logical flow of your argument. Additionally, work on varying your sentence structures to enhance coherence.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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