Some people think that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for a country, while others disagree. Do the advantages of hosting a major sporting event outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, hosting
an international sporting occasions
may bring several benefits to the host Correct the article-noun agreement
an international sporting occasion
international sporting occasions
country
, ranging from the higher number of visitors to financial income. However
, there are pros and cons in this
situation. In my opinion, hosting an international event will increase income for local
Correct article usage
the local
government
, advertising the country
culture Change noun form
country's
as well as
an
increasing Correct article usage
apply
in
tourism, Change preposition
apply
nevertheless
it Add a comma
nevertheless,
also
brings negative effects in
local security, and it Change preposition
on
required
a large amount of Wrong verb form
requires
money
from the government
.
To begin
with, the opportunity of hosting
sports Change preposition
to host
of
worldwide events Correct your spelling
or
it
is the best possible advertisement in culture to Correct pronoun usage
apply
substantial
an increasing of tourism. Change the word
substantially
For example
, an event hosting Summer
Olympics in Brisbane attracted a large number of visitors to Australia compared to the Correct article usage
the Summer
last
couple of years. Moreover
, another significant factor is the great potential of such
events as a liable source of local government
income and local community. For instance
, tennis grand slam tickets sold out from
a month earlier, Change preposition
apply
also
local business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
such
as hotels, and
restaurants, beer-clubs increasing Correct word choice
apply
double
Replace the word
doubled
of
their profits in that month.
Change preposition
apply
However
, there are some disadvantages of hosting sports occasions are
the organization and preparation of sporting events Verb problem
such as
require
a vast sum of Wrong verb form
requiring
money
and security concern
for Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
local
community. Add an article
the local
In particular
, unfamiliarity
of tourists with the norms of the local Add an article
the unfamiliarity
country
can give rise to any
law-breaking Correct quantifier usage
apply
behaviors
that may threaten the security of residents, most notably young children. Change the spelling
behaviours
Additionally
, hosting sport event
Fix the agreement mistake
sports events
required
a lot of Wrong verb form
requires
money
to prepare. This
leading
to a financial deficit if the host Wrong verb form
leads
country
fails to dedicate adequate financial resources.
To sum up
, hosting an international sport will brings
several benefits to for local Change the verb form
bring
government
and local
community. Still, it Add an article
the local
is
Verb problem
has
also
come with the
Correct article usage
a
rising
in Replace the word
rise
the
law-breaking and Correct article usage
apply
required
a large of Wrong verb form
requires
money
.Submitted by sunnyrogle22 on
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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the task fairly well, but your argument could be strengthened by more thoroughly addressing how the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages. To improve, expand on your main points with more focused and comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly distinguish your paragraphs with topic sentences and use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. This will improve the logical flow of your argument. Additionally, work on varying your sentence structures to enhance coherence.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...