IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for a country, while others disagree. Do the advantages of hosting a major sporting event outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #event #country
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Nowadays, hosting
an international sporting occasions
Correct the article-noun agreement
an international sporting occasion
international sporting occasions
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 may bring several benefits to the host
country
Use synonyms
, ranging from the higher number of visitors to financial income.
However
Linking Words
, there are pros and cons in
this
Linking Words
 situation. In my opinion, hosting an international event will increase income for
local
Correct article usage
the local
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government
Use synonyms
, advertising the
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
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 culture
as well as
Linking Words
an
Correct article usage
apply
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increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
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tourism,
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nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
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 it
also
Linking Words
 brings negative effects
in
Change preposition
on
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 local security, and it
required
Wrong verb form
requires
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 a large amount of
money
Use synonyms
 from the
government
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the opportunity
of hosting
Change preposition
to host
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 sports
of
Correct your spelling
or
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 worldwide events
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is the best possible advertisement in culture to
substantial
Change the word
substantially
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 an increasing of tourism.
For example
Linking Words
, an event hosting
Summer
Correct article usage
the Summer
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 Olympics in Brisbane attracted a large number of visitors to Australia compared to the
last
Linking Words
 couple of years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another significant factor is the great potential of
such
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 events as a liable source of local
government
Use synonyms
 income and local community.
For instance
Linking Words
, tennis grand slam tickets sold out
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a month earlier,
also
Linking Words
 local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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such
Linking Words
 as hotels,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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restaurants, beer-clubs increasing
double
Replace the word
doubled
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of
Change preposition
apply
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their profits in that month.
However
Linking Words
, there are some disadvantages of hosting sports occasions
are
Verb problem
such as
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 the organization and preparation of sporting events
require
Wrong verb form
requiring
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 a vast sum of
money
Use synonyms
 and security
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
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 for
local
Add an article
the local
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 community.
In particular
Linking Words
,
unfamiliarity
Add an article
the unfamiliarity
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 of tourists with the norms of the local
country
Use synonyms
 can give rise to
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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law-breaking
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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 that may threaten the security of residents, most notably young children.
Additionally
Linking Words
, hosting
sport event
Fix the agreement mistake
sports events
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required
Wrong verb form
requires
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 a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 to prepare.
This
Linking Words
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
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 to a financial deficit if the host
country
Use synonyms
 fails to dedicate adequate financial resources.
To sum up
Linking Words
, hosting an international sport will
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 several benefits to for local
government
Use synonyms
 and
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 community. Still, it
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
also
Linking Words
 come with
the
Correct article usage
a
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rising
Replace the word
rise
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
law-breaking and
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 a large of
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sunnyrogle22 on

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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the task fairly well, but your argument could be strengthened by more thoroughly addressing how the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages. To improve, expand on your main points with more focused and comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly distinguish your paragraphs with topic sentences and use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. This will improve the logical flow of your argument. Additionally, work on varying your sentence structures to enhance coherence.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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