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Band 5.5

Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#education #health #care #government
Education
 and
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 are considered to be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 necessity for
everyone
 as it is their right to receive the same amount of quality and
service
.
This
 essay agrees that
government
 should provide free
access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
 and
health
 care to its people as it could reduce unemployment
as well as
 improve
everyone
's well-being. Every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 should have the opportunity to
be expose
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be exposed
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in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 receiving proper academic courses but
this
access
tend
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tends
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 to be
hinder
Change the form of the verb
hindered
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due to
 the
students
' inability to pay their tuition fee. If
government
Add an article
the government
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 can fund
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
students
 to be able to continue their academic journey, it could prevent unemployment as
everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the opportunity to be educated.
For instance
, the Indonesian
education
 ministry created the Kampus Merdeka Program, a program that
facillitate
Correct your spelling
facilitate
facilitates
 undergraduates with
experience
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experiences
show examples
 beyond their classroom
such
 as internship and student exchange, by providing coverage
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 and insurance.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, financial issue is not part of the
students
'
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 in pursuing new
knowldge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 or preparing their career path.
Health
 is a
curicial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
 matter for
everyone
 to be able to
access
 it with the same amount of
service
 and quality.
However
, there are certain people who still approach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cheaper medical alternatives
such
 as herbs and
unexperience
Correct your spelling
inexperienced
 gurus that say they can heal them but rather it can cause more harm.
This
 could
be prevent
Change the verb form
be prevented
show examples
 if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 fund free
health
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 and
this
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 proven when Indonesia
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 first COVID-19 outbreak.
Indonesian
Fix the agreement mistake
Indonesians
show examples
 pursue
in
Change preposition
apply
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drinking tea
as well as
 sticking to paracatemol as they believe that it could prevent them
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 getting infected,
in
Correct word choice
but in
show examples
reality
Add a comma
reality,
show examples
 it
dosen't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
show examples
. As the
health
 ministry
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
 COVID-19 vaccine,
Indonesian infected
Add a hyphen
Indonesian-infected
show examples
patients
Change noun form
patients'
patient's
show examples
 growth rate dramatically
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
. In conclusion, it is the
government
's duty to provide better quality and
service
 for its people by giving free
access
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
 and
health
. It is
everyone
Change noun form
everyone's
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 and
privelege
Correct your spelling
privilege
 to be able to receive those
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 in order for the country to prosper.
Submitted by studymeterr on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is supported by specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs, ensuring a smooth flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
Expand upon your examples, providing clear explanations of how they support your main point to further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to check for grammatical accuracy and appropriateness of vocabulary.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • socioeconomic status
  • equal opportunities
  • financial burden
  • economically disadvantaged
  • public health expenditures
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • waiting times
  • government budgets
  • financial constraints
  • higher taxes
  • reallocation
  • privatization
  • quality services
  • inequality
  • fulfill responsibility
What to do next:
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