In the day some people think that young criminals should receive the same punishment as adults. I disagree
Linking Words
this
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with this
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opinion
Body paragraph 1
Fristly
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Firstly
, young
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
still is
student
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students
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so
they's
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they are
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though not yet mature same as adults, they are receptive too
bad
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badly
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in
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to
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the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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and
frriends
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friends
, so receive give for they not suitable.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, they need to education from begin again
than
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then
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remove
Wrong verb form
removed
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in
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from
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prison and
recive
Correct your spelling
receive
.
For example
Linking Words
: A
child
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children
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commit a serious crime they need to education than
for beating
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beaten
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and
torture
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tortured
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there for solve the
proplems
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problems
they encounter and find solutions.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
i
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I
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disagree about the problem some people think that young criminals should receive the same punishment as adults.
thuhong.68hnue
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structure
The essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. Begin with an introductory paragraph that clearly states your opinion and previews the points you will discuss. Each paragraph should contain a single, clear idea that is thoroughly developed and supported with examples.
grammar
It is essential to pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation, as these errors can distract from your argument and make your essay difficult to understand. Consider practicing sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve clarity and overall coherence.
development
For a stronger argument, include more detailed reasoning and specific examples to support your opinion. Aim to develop the main points with further explanation, evidence, and examples that relate directly to the topic.
conclusion
The essay should expand on the conclusion to reinforce your opinion and summarize the main points discussed. Restate your thesis and the reasons you have provided, ensuring a consistent and cohesive message throughout your essay.
task response
Make sure you respond fully to the task by addressing the prompt directly and presenting a balanced argument. Your essay should indicate the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement, providing a thorough discussion on why young offenders should not receive the same punishment as adults.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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