IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

These days, world leaders of all kinds are younger than those in the past. What are the reasons? Is this a negative or positive trend?

#world #leaders #kinds #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The outgrowing and constantly developing
world
Use synonyms
 needs numerous personalities acting as a leader for the group of individuals in various social and political aspects. I believe enhancing leadership quality in an individual is a tough task and is a
lesser known
Add a hyphen
lesser-known
show examples
 fact. despite
this
Linking Words
, I agree that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 leaders leading different societies are young adults compared to the historical graph of experienced leaders. A debate has been evoked about knowledge leading the
world
Use synonyms
 versus experience leading the
world
Use synonyms
 in recent times.
this
Linking Words
 essay will explore the reasons and trends about the same in the upcoming paragraphs in detail. I believe that the sheer reason for
this
Linking Words
 newly embracing trend is the exposure of youth to a detailed source of information, a multi-level learning approach, and the freedom to explore the
world
Use synonyms
 with a lesser amount of restrictions.
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the availability of the internet at their fingertips provides them with a varied source of answers to the questions popping into their mind.
this
Linking Words
 builds a level of self-confidence and generates the potential to gain the qualities required for leadership.
Although
Linking Words
 many people believe
that is
Linking Words
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 approachable and positive trend
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that outcomes are negative when noticed for a longer period of time.
Due to
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
availability
Correct article usage
the availablity
show examples
availablity
Correct your spelling
availability
 of the
Submitted by harvibhatt1705 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to complete your essay. The provided text seems to finish abruptly without a conclusion. Full completion of your thoughts and an actual ending is essential for the reader to understand your full argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more clearly. This can include conjunctions, transition phrases, and referencing words.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your introduction and conclusion. Both should be clearly defined; the introduction should present the topic and your main argument, while the conclusion should summarize your points and restate your position.
task response
Add more supporting details to your main points. This can include specific examples, explanations, or personal experiences that reinforce your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • world leaders
  • educational opportunities
  • expertise
  • social media
  • platform
  • demographic shifts
  • career paths
  • fresh perspectives
  • innovative approaches
  • policy-making
  • infusion
  • relatable
  • engaged
What to do next:
Look at other essays: