IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People today can easily access information online. So libraries are no longer necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #access #information #libraries
While
 some argue that the ease and convenience of accessing
information
 online renders
libraries
 obsolete, I disagree.
Libraries
 are invaluable cultural repositories that serve as a testament(遺囑) to human knowledge and history. There is a debate about the relevance of
libraries
 in the digital age.
Although
 it is true that online research is more convenient,
libraries
 offer a unique and irreplaceable experience that cannot be replicated online. How can we ensure the accuracy of
information
 found on the internet? The vast array(大批) of opinions available online can be overwhelming and even detrimental to our critical thinking skills.
Additionally
, the credibility of sources can be difficult to determine. It is important to consider the wealth of resources available at
libraries
 that may not be accessible online. During the writing of my final paper at college, I visited the
library
 daily. The university
library
 contains a collection of
limited edition
Add a hyphen
limited-edition
show examples
 books that provided me with valuable
information
.
In addition
 to being a resource for
information
, the
library
also
 offers a quiet study space free from the distractions of noise and social media. In conclusion,
although
 accessing
information
 online may be easier than going to the
library
 to conduct research, I still believe in the importance of the existence of
libraries
.
Submitted by yyuanq77 on

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. It is good that you have an introduction, but clearly outlining your standpoint in response to the prompt will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to show clearer relationships between ideas. Avoid repeating the same linking words; instead, use synonyms or different types of linking phrases.
task achievement
Develop your main points further by including more specific examples. The mention of using the university library is a good start, but provide more detailed evidence to exemplify your claims.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea. There is room for improvement in paragraphing and overall essay organization.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced argument by discussing contrasting viewpoints or admitting potential advantages of the opposite perspective, even if you disagree with it. This could be used to show a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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