Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
In the modern world, there are various types of activities, including unsafe sports. Some humans think that dangerous kinds of sports should be forbidden. Experts and athletes seem to have been discussing
this
issue for a long time. Some will agree with the statement, whereas
there are opponents of this
view. Both sides will be debated in this
essay and my opinion will be given.
On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why unsafe activities should be banned. First,
from time to time, individuals who are keen on harmful facilities can get serious injuries. Sometimes it leads to death. Moreover
, nowadays, the public is aware of famous
terrible accidents. Change the adjective
famously
For instance
, a popular Instagram blogger was obsessed with skydiving. Unfortunately, this
hobby was
ended in death, when he crashed Unnecessary verb
apply
caused
skydiving in 2022. Wrong verb form
causing
Moreover
, a practice plays significant role in unsafe activities, which is why some people have awful accidents.
On the other hand
, every person has liberty and only they can choose their hobbies. Due to
individuals who are interested in risky sports, our world is exploring new places and opportunities. For example
, climbing to the highest point of Everest opened a society that it is the highest mountain in the world.
All things considered, the obvious conclusion to be drawn is that the government cannot forbid dangerous facilities due to
the fact the public has freedom of choice. In my opinion, a number of humans who are addicted to insecure types of activity should think not only about themselves but also
about their relatives. In addition
, they ought to have a certain of level preparation.Submitted by dulskywork on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more explicit in stating the topic and your stance.
supported main points
Develop your ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by an explanation and example. You provided examples, but some may benefit from further explanation or more relevant details.
logical structure
Target a more consistent and cohesive structure to your paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and arguments within your essay.
complete response
Make sure to fully address the task by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. Your essay touches upon both perspectives, yet the discussion could be more comprehensive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim to provide clear and comprehensive development of your ideas. While you have some examples, providing more analysis and explanation could strengthen your points.
relevant specific examples
Use specific examples to substantiate your arguments. There are attempts at this in your essay, but ensure that they are detailed and directly relevant to the point you are making.
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