another essay In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Nowadays an increasing number of individuals worldwide relocate to suburbs resulting in
decline
Add an article
a decline
show examples
in the number of
countryside
residents. In my opinion, it is a negative development which can lead to a wide range of serious consequences. In
this
essay, possible implications
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
will be provided. One serious problem that can arise from decreased populations in villages is that it could result in
ecological
Correct article usage
the ecological
show examples
degradation of the cities. Notably, crowded cities may be the cause of various ecological issues, namely air pollution, overcrowdedness,
scarcity
Correct word choice
and scarcity
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of water and other resources.
As a result
, it may lead to an abundance of health issues among residents.
This
is particularly concerning for youngsters whose immune
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
not adapted yet to these harsh conditions of living.
Thus
, it is a significant problem for the government to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
since it may result in numerous diseases and mutations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
citizens which can be inherited
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
the next generations. Another issue to consider is that the essence of villages plays a vital role in the maintenance of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
and resources.
This
issue is especially critical for countries whose economic well-being depends on the manufacturers, factories and agriculture which
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
to be located in the
countryside
or outskirts.
Hence
, if
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
considerable number of
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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population
decide
Correct subject-verb agreement
decides
show examples
to move to cities, there will be
scarcity
Correct article usage
a scarcity
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in employment rate which results in the bankruptcy of the companies.
To sum up
,
although
it has become more popular to move to megapolises from the
countryside
, it
also
can bring drawbacks from ecological and
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
views.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task. While your position is clear, your essay could benefit from a deeper exploration of both sides of the issue, discussing the possible positive outcomes of rural to urban migration, as well as solutions to mitigate negative impacts.
Task Achievement
Expand on examples to support your main points. Concrete examples and data would enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments and demonstrate a more detailed understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on your essay's logical structure. Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and ensure each subsequent sentence is clearly linked to that topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure that your introduction and conclusion are comprehensive and effectively bookend your essay. They should frame your argument and summarise your position without introducing new ideas.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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