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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014

THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THE
PERCENTAGE
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 OF NEW ZEALAND PRIMARY SCHOOL STUDENTS LEARNING A SECOND
LANGUAGE
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 BY
LANGUAGE
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 LEARNED BETWEEN TWO THOUSAND
BY
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apply
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SIX AND TWENTY FOURTEEN .
OVERALL
Linking Words
, THE FRENCH
LANGUAGE
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 DURING THE 8 YEARS PERIOD OF TIME , REVEALS THE VAST
PERCENTAGE
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 OF LEARNING SECONDARY
LANGUAGE
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 WITH ALL FIVE OTHER LANGUAGES REST OF TIME . IN 2006 THE CHINESE
LANGUAGE
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 BECAME THE LEAST CHOSEN
LANGUAGE
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WHILE
Linking Words
 SPANISH AND JAPANESE ILLUSTRATED ALMOST
SAME
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THE SAME
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PERCENTAGE
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 OF
BEING
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CHOICES AMONG THE STUDENTS.
HOWEVER
Linking Words
, IN 2011 THE GAP BETWEEN THESE TWO LANGUAGES WIDENED AND CONSIDERABLY SPANISH SHOWS MORE
PERCENTAGE
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 OF CHO

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • obesity
  • ethnicity
  • impact
  • bar charts
  • data
  • represent
  • studying
  • rates
  • significant
  • differences
  • highest
  • lowest
  • compare
  • trend
  • experienced
  • changes
  • over 10-year period
  • highlight
  • variations
  • notable
  • summarize
  • findings
  • implications
  • adolescents
  • addressing
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