IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some countries, young people do not take care of their elderly relatives. Instead, they appoint trained professionals who take care of the elderly. Is it a positive or a negative tend according to you?

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In
sevral
Correct your spelling
several
 countries
arong
Correct your spelling
around
 the world professional services are obtained to take
care
Use synonyms
 of elderly parents by their younger relatives. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is negative development as ample reasons to
substantialte
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substantiate
 it. First and foremost, the advocates for professional service for elder
care
Use synonyms
 claim that it will provide
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 nursing
care
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 for the elder
people
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional
people
Use synonyms
 would look
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 parents in a professional way compared to the offspring which is beneficial for their health.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the World Health Organisation report,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
50% of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
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 by
cardio vascular
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cardiovascular
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attack
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attacks
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 can be prevented by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper first aid
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
immediately.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the relatives would need to focus
also
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their professional life, the
people
Use synonyms
 who need to travel for their job purpose.
However
Linking Words
, the offspring have the
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to take
care
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 elderly parents. The elder
people
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 require more compassion and emotional support
along with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical support.
In other words
Linking Words
, the blood relatives are the suitable
people
Use synonyms
 to provide
care
Use synonyms
 for them rather than
a
Change the article
an
show examples
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 professional service. To illustrate,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 recent survey conducted by Oxford University indicated that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
geriatric
people
Use synonyms
 who
residing
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reside
show examples
 at their
home
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homes
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 healthier than old
care
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home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional elder
care
Use synonyms
 services are more convenient
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
elder
people
Use synonyms
 and
offspring
Correct pronoun usage
their offspring
show examples
 can focus on their professional life.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
Use synonyms
 require emotional and compassion
along with
Linking Words
 physical support, ergo, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 it is a negative development.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure clarity in your introduction by stating your position clearly with no spelling or grammatical errors. Make sure your introduction and conclusion are distinct and effectively encapsulate your argument.
supported main points
Develop your ideas more fully by expanding your explanations and providing more detailed examples. This will showcase a better understanding and ability to discuss issues in depth.
complete response
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task prompt; this includes clearly stating whether the trend is positive or negative and providing ample support for this view.
logical structure
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly and ensure seamless transitions between them. Create a logical flow that guides the reader through your argument effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strengthen each paragraph with clear and comprehensive ideas that provide a deep analysis of the issue. Avoid generalizations and aim to give nuanced perspectives.
relevant specific examples
Include relevant and specific examples to substantiate your claims. The examples should be clearly connected to the main argument and enhance the persuasive element of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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