several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. some people say that government should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays,
English
is extensively replacing the role of local
languages
in the curriculum in many countries.
Therefore
, many concerns have arisen that these local tongues are under the threat of extinction.
Although
the importance of teaching
English
is quite high, governments around the world should ensure
safety
Add an article
the safety
show examples
of local
languages
by implementing policies that would encourage
native
Add an article
the native
show examples
population to learn their native tongue. The role of
English
in the modern world has become extremely essential for people to learn because it gives an immeasurable amount of information and access to anything.
This
is
due to
the fact that all sources of media distribute information mainly in
English
.
As a result
, more and more people have started to prioritize learning it
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the expense of their mother tongue.
For example
, many countries in the developed world inserted
English
as an obligatory subject at school.
Nevertheless
, local
languages
should prioritized as they represent customs and the culture of the nation and they help to keep national identity in
this
era of globalization, where cultures have started to merge together.
Therefore
, countries should implement various policies, which regard education and cultural development.
Such
policies would entice
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
to develop the
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
identity in some ways,
such
as music, poems, books etc.
For instance
,
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
similar policy was implemented in Congo, where
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
population did not know its mother tongue, after the implementation of the policy their language was reborn. In conclusion, the significance of studying
English
cannot be underestimated and everyone should learn it for their own benefit.
However
, the survival of other
languages
should be ensured as they preserve customs and cultures.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Make sure to discuss both views as the prompt requests. Your essay primarily focuses on one view and touches on the other only briefly, which can affect the balance of your discussion.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. You mention policies and the case of Congo but do not provide detailed examples which would make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay by improving transitions between ideas and making sure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion summarizing the main points and your opinion. Your essay includes both, but make sure they are well-developed and succinctly encapsulate all the key points of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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