IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some employees want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

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Employees want to get a hold of their staff any
time
Use synonyms
 they need them including on their days off.
Although
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 it is important to coordinate with team members about work and make sure the tasks can run smoothly,
this
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 essay believes that there are a lot more drawbacks because it violates the workers’ rights. On the one hand, people believe that contacting their teams at any
time
Use synonyms
 allows them to coordinate with the team members.
This
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 is because, in a professional setting, every business unit staff has a specific job role. The employees want to make sure that the progress is on track and they want to call or text them to ensure some issues are already solved and will not hinder the progression. Sometimes, the seniors need important data,
thus
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 they have to contact them on holidays.
For example
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, in Shopee, before Monday meetings, managers usually require their team members to prepare the report data. They wind up asking about work on weekends.
However
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,
this
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 practice is not healthy in the long run.
This
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 work culture has drawbacks which are violating the workers’ right to take holidays unbothered.
This
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 is because they have to take their annual leave to enjoy vacations and unwind from the busy demanding working world.
Nonetheless
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, they are being contacted by their seniors or supervisors to check their laptops.
This
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 situation will disrupt the indulgence of their
time
Use synonyms
 off. It will lower the emotional satisfaction. Research in Jakarta shows that it is a common start-up culture where they have to put extra effort on weekends and even their days off because their bosses want them to send a report.
This
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 study
also
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 discovered that there is a significant increase in stress related to
this
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 bad culture.
This
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 essay thinks that it is detrimental to have
this
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 situation happen in the long run. In conclusion, even though getting a hold of staff at any
time
Use synonyms
 allows employees to have the tasks run smoothly,
this
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 practice has negative effects on workers whose rights are violated and lowers their satisfaction.

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to structure your essay in a logical way, with clear paragraphs that include an introductory sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. Ensure transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical connections or contrast are explicitly stated.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your argument. State your main argument (thesis statement) in the introduction, and briefly summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Develop your main points with detailed and specific examples or explanations. Use relevant examples to support your arguments and provide concrete evidence for your position on the issue.
task achievement
Your essay should fully respond to the task provided by addressing the advantages and disadvantages mentioned in the prompt. Make sure that each paragraph contributes to this purpose and that your position is clear throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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