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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their prodessional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
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Risks
 are necessary things you need to face in every event of your life. In
this
 essay, I will explain why the benefits of taking
risks
 overshadow the drawbacks. On the one hand, It is gambling.
Risks
 have the potential to be two things, either opportunity or threat. With
this
 50 percent each possibility, we never know what kind of
risks
 that beneficial for us.
Furthermore
, It may lead you to failure. If you do not have a great sense of thinking, there is a big chance for you to get into trouble. There are
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of unworth
risks
 which can guide you to problems, which include/s, unbelievable investment, gambling, or resigning from your current job.
On the other hand
, being a
risk taker
Add a hyphen
risk-taker
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 could help you to out of your comfort zone. The majority of people
afraid
Add a missing verb
are afraid
show examples
 to take a chance, even if it has provided large opportunities for them, because they are already comfortable with their area now, resulting in self-limitation.
However
, if they have a little bit of courage to take that risk,
this
 may lead to a new world for them. To illustrate, high school students who bravely apply to prestigious colleges will have more space to improve rather than the ones who are scared to register.
Additionally
, most of the time,
risks
 assist you in becoming an ambitious person because you want to sharpen and minimize the bad possibilities.
To sum up
,
while
 being
risk
Correct article usage
a risk
show examples
 taker possibly leads to failure if you are a bad decision maker, taking
risks
 will help you to escape from your normal life and grow beyond your limits.
Therefore
, I am fully convinced that the demerits are eclipsed by the merits.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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task achievement
Be sure to give specific examples to illustrate your points. General statements need to be supported by concrete examples to effectively argue your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Work on the cohesiveness of your paragraphs. They should all flow together smoothly, linking ideas between sentences and sections more explicitly.
language proficiency
Check your essay for any grammatical errors, and make sure that your ideas are expressed clearly, with appropriate vocabulary utilization.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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