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Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#discipline #schools #people #responsibility #teachers #role #parents
In our contemporary society,
discipline
 is an increasingly concerning issue in schools today. Some people contend that
discipline
 should be the responsibility of
teachers
, but some hold diametrically opposing
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 and opine that
parents
 should bear the responsibility.
This
 essay will examine both views and
weight
Correct your spelling
weigh
show examples
 up their merits. On one
hand
, it is argued that the
teachers
 should be responsible for the
students'
Correct your spelling
student's
show examples
discipline
 because the whole purpose of
parents
 sending their
children
 to the school is to be taught by the
teachers
.
Teachers
 are
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professionals who are experienced and trained to teach the
students
 the relevant subject,
as well as
 to
discipline
 them.
Moreover
,
students
 nowadays spend more time in school, as compared to staying at home with their
parents
. It is
therefore
 easier for the
teachers
 to monitor and guide the
students
.
On the other
hand
, some people claim that
parents
 should be responsible because
parents
 are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who raise their
children
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and know their
children
 the best. It is easier for them to communicate with the
children
 using the most effective way because they would
have known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 the
children
's character well.
Parents
 will
also
 stay with them longer in their lives and are able to ultimately make
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 positive impact, as opposed to the
teachers
 who might just stay with them for a few years. In my opinion, both
parents
 and
teachers
 are equally important to
students
 and they should bear the
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 of
discipline
 together. They should work together
hand
 in
hand
,
teachers
 will be responsible for teaching and guiding
students
 at school
whereas
parents
 will play the role as their role models and communicate with their
children
 regularly at home. The issue of
discipline
 will not be redressed if we overly rely on either
parents
 or
teachers
 to do their job single-sided.
Submitted by michellehoon0924 on

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Support
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views throughout the essay and provide specific examples to support each point of view. Examples help illustrate the points made and give your essay more weight.
Task Achievement
Work on developing a stronger thesis statement in your introduction to present a clear stance from the outset. Your opinion should be clear, and this clarity should persist throughout your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using more cohesive devices and topic sentences to begin each paragraph, guiding the reader through your arguments with clear progression.
Task Achievement
Enhance the conclusion by summarizing both views and clearly stating your final position, reinforcing the points made in the essay and not introducing new information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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