The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Science is the main field which is increasingly boosting and making innovations in terms of technology. But not all of these innovations are considered good for human
being
. Fix the agreement mistake
beings
This
essay will discuss the point that science’s main goal must be to improve the human being’s life
as scientific hubs are funded by government money. Additionally
, other resources of investments are from private business
whose main income source is Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
manufacturing
of machines to ease human being’s Add an article
the manufacturing
life
conditions.
Scientists are inventing new instruments of technological facilities and even totally modern things every dayAdd the comma(s)
, as well as their requirements for experiments and resources,
as well as
their requirements for experiments and resources are funded by government
. Add an article
the government
Therefore
, their inventions and innovative discoveries should be for the seek of publicity to improve people’s
life
conditions as they are using the money from taxes of dwellers. For example
, Kazakhstani
government provide a large amount of money for Satbayev Correct article usage
the Kazakhstani
Universitie’s
hub. Correct your spelling
University’s
Subsequently
, this
hub presenting
new approaches Wrong verb form
presents
of
using Change preposition
to
friendly-user
online banking system.
Correct article usage
a friendly-user
Besides
to
Change preposition
apply
this
, companies that are investing for
sciences Change preposition
in
actually
technology-based companies Add a missing verb
are actually
such
as Tesla, Sumsung
, etc. BecauseCorrect your spelling
Samsung
,
they are interested in boosting their incomes by offering people easy-to-use and Remove the comma
apply
state-of-art
machines to make Correct your spelling
state-of-the-art
people’s
life
more easier and convenient. If science wants to improve, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
they
actually Correct pronoun usage
it
need
to work Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
how
Change preposition
on how
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
their
inventions can be achieved Correct pronoun usage
its
for fostering
Change preposition
to foster
people’s
lives.
In summary, science must prevalently pay attention to improving people’s
life
as their funds are raised by the people and companies for offering Fix the agreement mistake
lives
easy to use
facilities for Add a hyphen
easy-to-use
people’s
daily life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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task achievement
Ensure that you state a clear position throughout your essay, which reflects your full response to the question prompt.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with detailed explanations and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logical progression of ideas throughout your paragraphs with clearer topic sentences and supporting sentences that develop your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to help connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
language
Carefully proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
Expand your conclusion to reflect on the implications of your discussion and affirm your position in a summing-up statement.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?