IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Science is the main field which is increasingly boosting and making innovations in terms of technology. But not all of these innovations are considered good for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the point that science’s main goal must be to improve the human being’s
life
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 as scientific hubs are funded by government money.
Additionally
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, other resources of investments are from private
business
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businesses
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 whose main income source is
manufacturing
Add an article
the manufacturing
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 of machines to ease human being’s
life
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 conditions. Scientists are inventing new instruments of technological facilities and even totally modern things every day
Add the comma(s)
, as well as their requirements for experiments and resources,
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as well as
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 their requirements for experiments and resources are funded by
government
Add an article
the government
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.
Therefore
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, their inventions and innovative discoveries should be for the seek of publicity to improve
people’s
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 conditions as they are using the money from taxes of dwellers.
For example
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,
Kazakhstani
Correct article usage
the Kazakhstani
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 government provide a large amount of money for Satbayev
Universitie’s
Correct your spelling
University’s
 hub.
Subsequently
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,
this
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 hub
presenting
Wrong verb form
presents
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 new approaches
of
Change preposition
to
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 using
friendly-user
Correct article usage
a friendly-user
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 online banking system.
Besides
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to
Change preposition
apply
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this
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, companies that are investing
for
Change preposition
in
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 sciences
actually
Add a missing verb
are actually
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 technology-based companies
such
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 as Tesla,
Sumsung
Correct your spelling
Samsung
, etc. Because
,
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apply
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 they are interested in boosting their incomes by offering people easy-to-use and
state-of-art
Correct your spelling
state-of-the-art
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 machines to make
people’s
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 more easier and convenient. If science wants to improve,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 actually
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to work
how
Change preposition
on how
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can
Remove a modal verb
apply
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 inventions can be achieved
for fostering
Change preposition
to foster
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people’s
Use synonyms
 lives. In summary, science must prevalently pay attention to improving
people’s
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 as their funds are raised by the people and companies for offering
easy to use
Add a hyphen
easy-to-use
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 facilities for
people’s
Use synonyms
 daily
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.

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task achievement
Ensure that you state a clear position throughout your essay, which reflects your full response to the question prompt.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with detailed explanations and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logical progression of ideas throughout your paragraphs with clearer topic sentences and supporting sentences that develop your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to help connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
language
Carefully proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
Expand your conclusion to reflect on the implications of your discussion and affirm your position in a summing-up statement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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