Some children spend hour every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hour #smartphones #case #development

this

modern world, smartphones play a significant role in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Numerous

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apply

show examples

children use their mobile phones way

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too

show examples

much. In

this

essay,

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show examples

will explain several factors that contribute to

this

phenomenon and examine the reasons behind

this

negative development. There are two underlying causes why kids spend a lot of time with

gadget

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gadgets

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Firstly

, they feel helped by

this

thrive

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thriving

show examples

technology. As we know, we are entering the

advaced

Correct your spelling

advanced

era where

everthing

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everything

was

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show examples

digitalized and children that born in

this

generation are exposed

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show examples

this

, resulting

mobile

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in mobile

show examples

phone

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phones

show examples

become

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becoming

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something they cannot let go of.

However

addicted

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addiction

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may

also

one

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be one

show examples

of the reasons. Lately, there are many apps designed to make the users

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apply

show examples

stay for a long time which includes

personalize

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personalised

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features, gamification, or customization themes. These may lead to dependency for keep playing

those cellphone

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that cellphone

those cellphones

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Accordingly

spend

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spending

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hours on smartphones may give two main drawbacks.

Firstly

, it

create

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creates

show examples

kids with

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of socialization ability.

This

effect could

happens

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happen

show examples

because they are not used to having a conversation with others on many occasions.

Consequently

, they

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are incline

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incline

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inclined

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to not have friends.

Moreover

, children are

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innocent human being and really easy to get

bad

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badly

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influenced.

For instance

, kids could easily

got

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get

be got

show examples

access to pornography content or illegal

website

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websites

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which possibly

leading

Wrong verb form

leads

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them to have bad behavior. In conclusion,

chindren

Correct your spelling

children

nowadays

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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use smartphones with irresponsible time management because of how helpful technology

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

also

the possibility that they are addicted.

This

may

led

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lead

show examples

demerit

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demerits

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such

as socialization

issue

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issues

show examples

and shabby etiquette.

Submitted by zefanyagyu on Thu Jan 25 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure your ideas are organized in a logical manner, with clear connections between your thoughts. Use linking words to improve the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction that clearly presents your main points and a conclusion that summarizes your key arguments and gives a clear final perspective on the topic.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is well-supported by more detailed explanations or examples. Be thorough in explaining and justifying your points to provide depth to your essay.

task achievement

Ensure you fully address all parts of the task prompt, and your response should be a complete answer to the question. Aim for a balance in your essay by discussing both why children spend a lot of time on smartphones and whether this is a positive or negative development.

task achievement

Focus on the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. They should be easy to understand and presented in a way that thoroughly examines the topic from multiple perspectives.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your ideas. These can provide real-life context and make your response more persuasive and impactful.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some children spend hour every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts- music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure,business and commercial purpose around the world over recent years. What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights? Do you think flight should be texted more?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+