Some children spend hour every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In
this
modern world, smartphones play a significant role in our life
. Numerous Fix the agreement mistake
lives
of
children use their mobile phones way Change preposition
apply
to
much. In Replace the word
too
this
essay, i
will explain several factors that contribute to Change the capitalization
I
this
phenomenon and examine the reasons behind this
negative development.
There are two underlying causes why kids spend a lot of time with gadget
. Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
Firstly
, they feel helped by this
thrive
technology. As we know, we are entering the Change the verb form
thriving
advaced
era where Correct your spelling
advanced
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
was
digitalized and children that born in Wrong verb form
is
this
generation are exposed by
Change preposition
to
this
, resulting mobile
Change preposition
in mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
become
something they cannot let go of. Wrong verb form
becoming
However
, addicted
may Replace the word
addiction
also
one
of the reasons. Lately, there are many apps designed to make the users Add a missing verb
be one
to
stay for a long time which includes Change the verb form
apply
personalize
features, gamification, or customization themes. These may lead to dependency for keep playing Wrong verb form
personalised
those cellphone
.
Change the determiner
that cellphone
those cellphones
Accordingly
, spend
hours on smartphones may give two main drawbacks. Wrong verb form
spending
Firstly
, it create
kids with Change the verb form
creates
lack
of socialization ability. Correct article usage
a lack
This
effect could happens
because they are not used to having a conversation with others on many occasions. Change the verb form
happen
Consequently
, they Add a missing verb
are incline
incline
to not have friends. Replace the word
inclined
Moreover
, children are a
innocent human being and really easy to get Change the article
an
bad
influenced. Change the word
badly
For instance
, kids could easily got
access to pornography content or illegal Change the verb form
get
be got
website
which possibly Fix the agreement mistake
websites
leading
them to have bad behavior.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
leads
chindren
nowadays Correct your spelling
children
are
use smartphones with irresponsible time management because of how helpful technology Unnecessary verb
apply
was
Wrong verb form
is
also
the possibility that they are addicted. This
may led
to Change the verb form
lead
demerit
Change the noun form
demerits
such
as socialization issue
and shabby etiquette.Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your ideas are organized in a logical manner, with clear connections between your thoughts. Use linking words to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly presents your main points and a conclusion that summarizes your key arguments and gives a clear final perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is well-supported by more detailed explanations or examples. Be thorough in explaining and justifying your points to provide depth to your essay.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task prompt, and your response should be a complete answer to the question. Aim for a balance in your essay by discussing both why children spend a lot of time on smartphones and whether this is a positive or negative development.
task achievement
Focus on the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. They should be easy to understand and presented in a way that thoroughly examines the topic from multiple perspectives.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your ideas. These can provide real-life context and make your response more persuasive and impactful.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example