Too many young people and too many old people do not exercise enough. What is causing this ? What can be done to change this ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

The issue and perspective of disease outbreaks seem little knowledge before I learned from the group
discussion
.
Furthermore
, I was tasked to
search
and discuss the economic impact and perspective of the outbreak of the virus. I was not used to
such
a learning experience and I was forced to learn how to
search
for relevant answers through advanced technology example the Internet. Apart from that, I had apprenticed from my peers where to
search
for information and relate it to my
discussion
. Using
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
search
and reading the economics books and journals helps to build my
understandings
Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
show examples
and
discussion
throughout the learning experiences. During the meaningful educational experience, I understand that the impact of the virus is enormous to the world. The economic impact during a
pandemic
is an issue that not just the country but every individual. The key to the right lock is important as time and finances are crucial to the government. The fiscal and monetary policies must be in place in order to help the local economy.
Firstly
, export will be affected as workers and companies cannot export their products, it will definitely lower the aggregate demand and
therefore
decline the national income.
For example
, South African shoe manufacturers will not be able to export their products even if they lower their price level as ports are not open for shipping.
Furthermore
,
countries
that depend on tourism will be badly affected,
for instance
, Maldives. Airlines were not open and
countries
will have regulations to stop travelling from
countries
with a
pandemic
. Domestic and international Investment will not grow as the
pandemic
will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
countries
with a
pandemic
. Economic growth is accompanied by changes in the structure of the economy. When there is a disease outbreak, new firms will not have opportunities to establish themselves, as
banks
were
Verb problem
will
show examples
not be able to loan them
money
.
Moreover
,
banks
may face
crisis
Add an article
a crisis
the crisis
show examples
,
for example
, the
USA
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
banks
had given large numbers of
mortagages
Correct your spelling
mortgages
to low-income households on deals that fixed low repayments for a few years. During the
pandemic
, many would not be able to afford the repayments and
banks
may
bundling
Change the verb form
bundle
be bundling
show examples
mortgages together and
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
show examples
packages of mortgages to other
banks
or investors.
Moreover
, the government needs to spend more
money
to combat the virus
such
as temporary medical stations, medications and research to solve the epidemic.
This
even worsens the government’s
budgets
Fix the agreement mistake
budget
show examples
and may even create a deficit.
Therefore
, the government may need to increase the
money
supply in order to cope with the economic challenges.
Such
as the United States of America, quantitative easing may increase the
money
supply and help the economy in the short run. I
also
learned that country like Singapore, fiscal policy to subsidy citizens with monetary terms is helping them to withstand the
pandemic
in the short term. As
such
, unwinding the monetary stimulus will not be possible as
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
show examples
may be
long-term
Add an article
a long-term
show examples
issue. I acknowledge that it is very important to rely on my own knowledge and express my thoughts from the fundamentals I learned during the lectures. Without much attention in class, I may not be able to fulfil the
discussion
. As I was a timid and shy girl, open
discussion
was not my cup of tea.
However
, through the journey, I now understand that expressing my thoughts is becoming a rewarding experience. I may use
such
skills in the future when in my career days.
Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on

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task achievement
To improve your task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question prompt and provides applicable solutions to the problems presented.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more logical structure by including clear introductory and conclusion paragraphs that summarize your main points and relate back to the essay prompt.
task achievement
Support your ideas with more focused and directly relevant examples, and explain how these connect to the overall argument you are making.
coherence cohesion
Increase the coherence of your essay by using transition words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs to better guide the reader through your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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