IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

■The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. ■Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

■The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. ■Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#■the #information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years #■summarise #features #comparisons
The chart below shows British
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 rates
giving
Change preposition
of giving
show examples
money
 to
charity
 by
age
range
 in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
, British
people
 along their
age
range
 showed an upward trend in both
years
 1990 and 2010,
However
, there were some fluctuations,
although
 in 1990 and 2010,
people
age
 ranged from 18 to 25
years
 old that gave
money
 to
charity
 had
a lower rates
Correct the article-noun agreement
lower rates
a lower rate
show examples
, it was higher for
people
 above 65
years
 old. In 1990, British
people
 that gave
money
 to
charity
 with
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 ranged from 18 to 25
years
 old were about 17%
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
higher than in 2010 by approximately 10%,
then
 it rose to about 32% from
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
range
 26 to 35,and
then
 it continued to increase as the
age
range
 increased as well
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 until it reached its peak value for about 42 % for
age
range
 36-50 ,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it declined to be around 32% at
age
 above 65
years
 old. In 2010,
people
 ranged from 18 to 25
years
 old were about 7% who gave
money
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charity
,
then
 it continued to increase as the
age
range
 increased as well, until it reached its peak value
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 37 % for
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
range
 51-65 ,
however
, it declined to be around 35% at
age
 above 65
years
 old.
Submitted by mohamedicdl175 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, money, charity, age, range, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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