IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

■The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. ■Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

■The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. ■Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#■the #information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years #■summarise #features #comparisons
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The chart below shows British
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 rates
giving
Change preposition
of giving
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 to
charity
Use synonyms
 by
age
Use synonyms
range
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 in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, British
people
Use synonyms
 along their
age
Use synonyms
range
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trend in both
years
Use synonyms
 1990 and 2010,
However
Linking Words
, there were some fluctuations,
although
Linking Words
 in 1990 and 2010,
people
Use synonyms
age
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 ranged from 18 to 25
years
Use synonyms
 old that gave
money
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 to
charity
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 had
a lower rates
Correct the article-noun agreement
lower rates
a lower rate
show examples
, it was higher for
people
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 above 65
years
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 old. In 1990, British
people
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 that gave
money
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 to
charity
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 with
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 ranged from 18 to 25
years
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 old were about 17%
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
higher than in 2010 by approximately 10%,
then
Linking Words
 it rose to about 32% from
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
range
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 26 to 35,and
then
Linking Words
 it continued to increase as the
age
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range
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 increased as well
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 until it reached its peak value for about 42 % for
age
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range
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 36-50 ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it declined to be around 32% at
age
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 above 65
years
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 old. In 2010,
people
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 ranged from 18 to 25
years
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 old were about 7% who gave
money
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charity
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,
then
Linking Words
 it continued to increase as the
age
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range
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 increased as well, until it reached its peak value
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 37 % for
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
range
Use synonyms
 51-65 ,
however
Linking Words
, it declined to be around 35% at
age
Use synonyms
 above 65
years
Use synonyms
 old.
Submitted by mohamedicdl175 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, money, charity, age, range, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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