In most successful organizations, some people believe that communication between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?
Success
in business may be based on different aprroaches
. Correct your spelling
approaches
While
interaction
between Add an article
the interaction
executers
and employees is accepted as a key factor for Correct your spelling
executors
sucess
, some people argue that the Correct your spelling
success
workers
' education level and soft skills
may a
Add a missing verb
be a
word
of difference. Correct your spelling
world
This
essay will explain why workers
' qualifications should prioritize
rather than Wrong verb form
be prioritised
communication
between managers and them in order to achieve Replace the word
communicated
company's
goals.
One of the Correct article usage
the company's
reason
why Change to a plural noun
reasons
workers
' education
backgrounds have a significant role for Replace the word
educational
companies
is the importance of knowledge. Universities offer a wide range of theoretical knowledge, and the ability of critical thinking to pupils, hence
students may expand their horizons, moreover
they may solve problems, which they can face while
working with less effort by
the help of critical thinking ability.
These two factors may support the Change preposition
with
success
of a company
, especially in time
of crisis. Fix the agreement mistake
times
For instance
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, many factories faced to risk of backfire
; Wrong verb form
backfiring
however
only the Add a comma
however,
companies
, which had hired well-educated workers
like Apple, or Samsung were able to survive that crisis. Furthermore
, owing to their logical strategies, which were designed by well-rounded employees, they doubled their profit. To sum up
, having sophisticated workers
may put a company
one step ahead of others.
On the other hand
, another essential factor, which participates
Verb problem
contributes
in
the Change preposition
to
success
of a company
is worker's
soft Correct article usage
the worker's
skills
including communication skills
,
and software Remove the comma
apply
skills
. While
the importance of having hardworking college graduates can not be denied, the impact of hiring more experienced candidates on the success
of a company
should not be ignored. The
Correct article usage
Experience
experience
in a spesific
field may provide a broaden understanding related to Correct your spelling
specific
precise
topic, and Add an article
a precise
this
may put companies
at advantage
. Correct article usage
an advantage
That is
why working experience
is always evaluated by successful companies
while
analyzing candidates. The main reason of
Change preposition
for
this
pattern is having deeper experience
expands people's perspectives, and therefore
they can decide more correctly and faster at
Change preposition
in
critic
situations compared to less experienced individuals. To wrap Replace the word
critical
of
, hiring men and women, who have more Change preposition
up
experience
would contribute to the success
ofAdd an article
the
a
company
, owing to worker's abilities on deciding
accurately in Change preposition
to decide
shorter
time.
Correct article usage
a shorter
To conclude
, companies
' success
and profit may originate from numerous sources, some poeple
believe that communication between Correct your spelling
people
workers
and managers should be top of the priorty
to access the targets of Correct your spelling
priority
company
. I disagree with Add an article
the company
a company
this
idea,
and advocate the importance of educational background, and Remove the comma
apply
experience
related to job
.Add an article
the job
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task response
Your essay addresses the topic, but it seems to slightly deviate from the core question about the importance of communication between managers and workers. The focus is more heavily on the importance of workers' education and experience, rather than comparing it explicitly to the importance of communication, which is what the question asks. Make sure to directly address the essay prompt and compare the significance of manager-worker communication against the other factors you mention, providing a balanced analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion; however, the main body paragraphs could benefit from better organization. Aim to make your paragraphs focus on a single main idea with supporting details. In addition, work on creating smoother transitions between points to enhance readability and flow.
task achievement
While you have supported your points, the examples provided are not specific enough to illustrate your arguments effectively. Consider using more detailed and relevant examples to support your viewpoint, especially in regards to manager-worker communication, which is vital according to the essay topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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