In most successful organizations, some people believe that communication between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

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Success
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in business may be based on different
aprroaches
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approaches
.
While
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interaction
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the interaction
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between
executers
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executors
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and employees is accepted as a key factor for
sucess
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success
, some people argue that the
workers
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' education level and soft
skills
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may
a
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be a
show examples
word
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world
show examples
of difference.
This
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essay will explain why
workers
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' qualifications should
prioritize
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be prioritised
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rather than
communication
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communicated
show examples
between managers and them in order to achieve
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company's
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the company's
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goals. One of the
reason
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reasons
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why
workers
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'
education
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educational
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backgrounds have a significant role for
companies
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is the importance of knowledge. Universities offer a wide range of theoretical knowledge, and the ability of critical thinking to pupils,
hence
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students may expand their horizons,
moreover
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they may solve problems, which they can face
while
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working with less effort
by
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with
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the help of critical thinking ability. These two factors may support the
success
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of a
company
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, especially in
time
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times
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of crisis.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, many factories faced to risk of
backfire
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backfiring
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;
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however
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however,
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only the
companies
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, which had hired well-educated
workers
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like Apple, or Samsung were able to survive that crisis.
Furthermore
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, owing to their logical strategies, which were designed by well-rounded employees, they doubled their profit.
To sum up
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, having sophisticated
workers
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may put a
company
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one step ahead of others.
On the other hand
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, another essential factor, which
participates
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contributes
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in
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to
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the
success
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of a
company
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is
worker's
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the worker's
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soft
skills
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including communication
skills
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,
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apply
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and software
skills
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.
While
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the importance of having hardworking college graduates can not be denied, the impact of hiring more experienced candidates on the
success
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of a
company
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should not be ignored.
The
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Experience
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experience
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in a
spesific
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specific
field may provide a broaden understanding related to
precise
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a precise
show examples
topic, and
this
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may put
companies
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at
advantage
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an advantage
show examples
.
That is
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why working
experience
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is always evaluated by successful
companies
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while
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analyzing candidates. The main reason
of
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for
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this
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pattern is having deeper
experience
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expands people's perspectives, and
therefore
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they can decide more correctly and faster
at
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in
show examples
critic
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critical
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situations compared to less experienced individuals. To wrap
of
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up
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, hiring men and women, who have more
experience
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would contribute to the
success
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of
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the
a
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company
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, owing to worker's abilities
on deciding
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to decide
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accurately in
shorter
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a shorter
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time.
To conclude
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,
companies
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'
success
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and profit may originate from numerous sources, some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
believe that communication between
workers
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and managers should be top of the
priorty
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priority
to access the targets of
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company
Add an article
the company
a company
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. I disagree with
this
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idea
,
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apply
show examples
and advocate the importance of educational background, and
experience
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related to
job
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the job
show examples
.
Submitted by ilaydailday on

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task response
Your essay addresses the topic, but it seems to slightly deviate from the core question about the importance of communication between managers and workers. The focus is more heavily on the importance of workers' education and experience, rather than comparing it explicitly to the importance of communication, which is what the question asks. Make sure to directly address the essay prompt and compare the significance of manager-worker communication against the other factors you mention, providing a balanced analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion; however, the main body paragraphs could benefit from better organization. Aim to make your paragraphs focus on a single main idea with supporting details. In addition, work on creating smoother transitions between points to enhance readability and flow.
task achievement
While you have supported your points, the examples provided are not specific enough to illustrate your arguments effectively. Consider using more detailed and relevant examples to support your viewpoint, especially in regards to manager-worker communication, which is vital according to the essay topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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