IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #birth #death #rates #switzerland #nations #statistics #summarise #features #comparisons
The picture displayed here is
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 about the
birth
 and
death
 rates in Switzerland from
year
 1970 to 2020 from United Nations statistics. The graph shown has 2 bar charts
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each
year
throughout
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1975 to 2025.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the picture, the red chart shows the
birth
rate
, and the light blue chart shows the
death
rate
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the country.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 1975, the starting
year
, the
birth
rate
displays
Verb problem
was
show examples
 1.2
million
 and the
death
rate
displays
Verb problem
was
show examples
 1
million
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the following years, the improvement
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
 stagnant
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
1.7
Correct article usage
a 1.7
show examples
milion
Correct your spelling
million
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
rate
 and 1.5
million
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
rate
 by the
year
 1995.
On the other hand
, 10 years later,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2005
Add a comma
2005,
show examples
 the bar chart shows a significant rise
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
birth
rate
 to 2.7
million
 and the
death
rate
 went down to 1.1
million
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
year
 2025, the changes were similar to
of
Correct pronoun usage
those of
show examples
 the
year
 2005, where
birth
Add an article
the birth
show examples
rate
 increased more to 3.2
million
, and the
death
rate
 reduced to 0.8
million
.
Submitted by aizawatakeru2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, death, year, rate, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "displayed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • birth rate
  • death rate
  • fluctuation
  • demographic
  • peak
  • trough
  • trend
  • incremental
  • statistical
  • longitudinal
  • population growth
  • life expectancy
  • fertility rate
  • mortality rate
  • aging population
  • demographic shift
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