Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Private
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
is
more favourable than Correct subject-verb agreement
are
state
school
on the belief of Fix the agreement mistake
schools
its
better Correct pronoun usage
their
education
and superior school
faculty resources. It is arguably
that families whose children are educated in private Change the word
arguable
schools
should be exempted from some portions of tax
that are applied to support the public school
system
. While
for my personal opinion
I disagree with Add a comma
opinion,
this
argument.
Firstly
, tax
-free for families who put their pupils into private schools
seems unrealistic considering the complexity of calculation
of Correct article usage
the calculation
tax
. This
calculation issue not only comes from the government
side but also
from the residents
side which means it will be a bureaucratic process for Change to a genitive case
resident's
residents'
government
to determine the Add an article
the government
statistic
that are spent on Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
state
Add an article
the state
school
system
and the tax
threshold for citizens earning different income categories will be too complicated to reconsider.
Secondly
, it is an obligation for all citizens to pay tax
to Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
funding
public services no matter if they Change the verb form
fund
are
benefit from the services or not. Unnecessary verb
apply
For instance
, government
spends large Add an article
the government
amount
of money funded by Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
tax
on infrastructure construction and maintenance such
as on public parks, roads and entertainment facilities. People cannot refuse paying
Change the verb form
to pay
tax
just because they are not taking Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
on
these services. Change preposition
of
Similarly
, state
Correct article usage
the state
school
system
plays a vital role on
children's Change preposition
in
education
. Every citizen is obliged to fulfill
his/her duty by paying the Change the spelling
fulfil
tax
.
In conclusion, both families who send their children to private schools
and public schools
should equally share the responsibility of supporting the state
education
system
. It is hopeful that with the effort of government
and residents, state
Correct article usage
the state
education
system
could be improved into more
sophisticated stage.Add an article
the more
a more
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, however, it would benefit from a more developed argument with a broader range of ideas. Consider exploring different perspectives and rebutting potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.
task achievement
You should include more specific examples and possibly statistics or cited research to support your main points and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is generally logical, but there are opportunities to improve the clarity in the transitions between ideas. Use cohesive devices like 'furthermore' and 'on the other hand' to create smoother connections between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which is good practice. Enhancing the introduction with a stronger thesis statement and the conclusion with a more impactful final thought would be beneficial.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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