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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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In today’s educational landscape, the integration of free social
activities
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 into high school programs is a topic of considerable debate. Proponents argue that
such
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activities
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 should be mandatory, emphasizing the myriad benefits they offer to
students
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’ development and future prospects. Despite potential challenges, including
time
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 management issues, the long-term advantages for
students
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’ personal and professional growth are undeniable. The primary concern with mandatory participation in social
activities
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 is the impact on
students
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’
time
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. Engaging in
community
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service
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 can potentially detract from academic studies and personal leisure, particularly for those with rigorous academic schedules.
For instance
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,
students
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 volunteering in remote areas may spend significant
time
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traveling
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travelling
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, which could impede their study and relaxation
time
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.
This
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 requirement may not be suitable for all, especially those with health limitations or personal responsibilities.
Therefore
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, it’s crucial for educators to consider flexibility in these programs, allowing for a range of
activities
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 that cater to diverse student needs and capabilities. Unpaid
community
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service
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 should be a compulsory part of high school programs, as it provides
students
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 with invaluable experiential learning opportunities. By engaging in volunteer work,
students
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 can gain hands-on experience in various areas
such
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 as leadership, teamwork, and problem-solving.
This
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 practical experience complements the theoretical knowledge gained in classrooms and helps
students
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 develop important life skills that are essential for their personal and professional growth.
Additionally
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, participating in
community
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service
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 can help
students
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 cultivate a sense of empathy and social responsibility towards the welfare of others. It encourages them to become active contributors to society, fostering a greater understanding of diverse communities and societal issues. In conclusion,
while
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 some may argue that unpaid
community
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service
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 can place an additional burden on high school
students
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 who already have demanding academic schedules, I firmly believe that it is an essential component of holistic education.
Submitted by aamenis on

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task achievement
Expand your introduction to include a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the essay question. This will serve as a strong foundation for your argument.
task achievement
Develop your main points further by providing more specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Connect your ideas more effectively by using a wider range of cohesive devices. This will help your essay flow more smoothly and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-structured. Start with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • neighborhood improvement
  • teaching sports
  • empathy
  • social justice
  • transferable skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • problem-solving
  • civic duty
  • civic engagement
  • educational enhancement
  • practical experiences
  • academic learning
  • real-world applications
  • social cohesion
  • mutual support
  • time management
  • balancing priorities
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