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Band 5

Some people feel that schools should teach children how to become a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #schools #children #parent
People have different views about whether schools should teach
children
 the way to become a good
parent
. In my opinion, I agree with
this
 because everyone has the potential to become a
parent
 in the future, and it's important for them to understand some skills for being a good
parent
. There are two main reasons why it's important for
children
 to gain knowledge about being great
parents
 is that they can get
along with
 their
kids
 very well in the future.
Firstly
, they can choose a better method to educate their
children
, and their
kids
 will not resist their
parents
’
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and maintain a close relationship with them.
Secondly
, as incidents of physical and mental injury
due to
 conflicts between
parents
 and
children
 are increasingly common, it is crucial to have a good relationship with
children
 to avoid regrettable events. Being a good
parent
 requires certain skills.
For instance
, communicative
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 vital. When their
kids
 have distinctive ideas, they can tolerate their
kids
’ ideas and discuss opinions with them. It can avoid some conflict between the
parents
 and the
children
.
Moreover
, the skill of expressing love is crucial, too. If they can show their affection, their
kids
 will feel warm and develop a close bond with their
parents
.
Furthermore
, being
patience
Replace the word
patient
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
kids
 is critical. Some
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 probably
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 impatient when
children
 cannot understand what they
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
. At that time, the
parent
 should calm down and teach their
kids
 step by step.
Then
children
 can understand that indeed and prevent the argument about that.
Overall
,
it is clear that
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should include parenting skills in their curriculum because everyone might
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be a
parent
 in the future.
This
 could be a good way to help them have a good relationship with their
children
.
Submitted by ann on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on developing each paragraph with one clear main idea, and use examples or evidence to support your points. This ensures that your arguments are more compelling and easier for the reader to follow.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, aim to fully address the question by ensuring that your essay clearly states your position and provides thorough explanations throughout. Include specific examples to strengthen your arguments, as general statements are less persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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