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Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reason for this? What are the solutions?

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Nowadays,
people
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 are consuming more and more trash foods and
drinks
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. A relevant problem in
this
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 topic is the increase of consuming sugar-based
drinks
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons for
this
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 phenomenon and, after, some possible solutions for
this
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. In regard to the reasons,
firstly
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, it can be highlighted the increase of highly processed food and fast food brands that
incentive
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incentivise
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people
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 to drink sugar-based
drinks
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.
For example
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, McDonald's and Burger King grew a lot
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last
Correct word choice
in recent
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 years.
Secondly
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, another reason could be the extra good taste of it, that causes an
addction
Correct your spelling
addiction
addition
 to the consumers, because of
this
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,
people
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 use to drink it daily.
For instance
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, some
people
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 can´t spend a day without Coca-Cola.
Thus
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, they are addicted to the taste of it.
Due to
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 the negative effects of
this
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 phenomenon, there are some solutions that can be taken to reduce it. One possible solution is trying to replace it with similar replacers,
for example
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, soft sugared
drinks
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 could be replaced by sweet fruit juices, like apple juice. So, it is a healthy way to drink sweet
drinks
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instead
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 of sugared
drinks
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.
Moreover
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, another solution is changing life habits,
for example
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, with the help of nutritionists
people
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 can enjoy in better diet plan. Another point is that research shows us that doing exercises can enhance our neuroplasticity and capacity to introduce new habits.
Thus
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, doing sports and following a diet plan can make
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
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 to change the habit of drinking sugar-based
drinks
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.
To sum up
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, the growing trend of highly processed foods and
drinks
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 and the
addction
Correct your spelling
addiction
addition
 to
it's
Replace the word
its
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 taste are leading
people
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 to consume more and more sugar-based
drinks
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.
However
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, it can be solved by changing some habits in day to day.

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structure
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content
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task response
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coherence
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of information and ideas.
accuracy
Check for spelling and grammar accuracy, and ensure the correct usage of vocabulary.
development
Expand and explain your ideas further to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
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