IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think climate change has a negative impact on business, while others think that it provides more business options. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is believed by
some
Capitalize word
Some
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 that
climate
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change
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 is detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that
climate
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change
Use synonyms
 offers many business opportunities and so is good for
companies
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives, but I agree with the former side. On the one hand, those who believe
climate
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change
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 negatively impacts
companies
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 give the following reasons.
Firstly
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,
climate
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change
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 poses a physical risk to many
companies
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.
For example
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, extreme weather events like hurricanes, snowstorms, and floods force many
companies
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 to close operations for days. Many sectors like agriculture that heavily depend on
climate
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 and natural resources suffer a lot because of extreme environmental conditions.
Secondly
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,
climate
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change
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 has resulted in stricter greenhouse gas emission regulations and
thus
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companies
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 are forced to spend a lot of money to cut down their emissions and pay huge fines if they fail to do
.
Rephrase
so.
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On the other hand
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, there are many reasons why some people believe that
climate
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change
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 is beneficial for
businesses
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. The most important reason is that
climate
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change
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 spurs innovation, inspiring new products and services which are environment-friendly.
For example
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, global carmakers are transitioning to electric vehicles, energy
companies
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 are shifting towards renewable energy.
Use synonyms
Climate
Add an article
The climate
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 crisis has led to the growth of many
companies
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 that make green products. Many
businesses
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 have found success by catering to consumers who make environmentally-conscious choices when they shop. From large multinationals to local start¬ups, all
companies
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 are capitalizing on the green revolution.
Companies
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 are
also
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 able to reduce their operational costs by being more energy-efficient. I believe
climate
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change
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 is damaging to
businesses
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.
In addition
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 to the increasing operational costs like significantly higher air condition expenses,
businesses
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also
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 face competition from new start-ups that offer cleaner products. Another
climate
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-related risk to
companies
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 is the legal repercussions
for
Change preposition
of
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 emitting greenhouse gases.
For example
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, recently fossil fuel
companies
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 have faced many legal cases for damaging the environment.
This
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also
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 damages a company’s reputation and in extreme cases can lead to consumers boycotting them In conclusion, I believe that
climate
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change
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 has many adverse business outcomes like higher operational costs, legal challenges, and reputation damage.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Transition words or phrases could be used more effectively to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Expand on the main points with more detailed examples. The examples provided are relevant, but they lack specifics that would help to illustrate the point more vividly.
task achievement
Give equal treatment to both perspectives. The essay seems a bit biased, providing more development on the negative impacts of climate change on business. To balance the discussion, offer the same depth of detail and analysis to the view that climate change provides more business opportunities.
task achievement
To improve clarity and comprehension, work on sentence structure and aim to express ideas more succinctly. This includes avoiding repetition and ensuring that each sentence adds new information to the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas between and within paragraphs, including synonymy, ellipsis, substitution, and conjunctions. This will improve the essay's readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • impact
  • business
  • options
  • negative
  • positive
  • costs
  • production
  • profits
  • closures
  • services
  • products
  • market
  • opportunities
  • laws
  • rules
  • challenges
  • green products
  • demand
  • eco-friendly
  • thriving
  • industry
  • travel
  • agriculture
  • renewable energy
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